What I want in a person may take a lifetime to find but I would rather find that person and be comfortable and relaxed then to accept less.

I would like a person that is able to take it slow. There is no rush into a relationship and I do believe being friends first is very important. In this way the defensiveness is down, you learn each other's good and bad points and accept each other for who they are.

I would like to find a person who realizes that there will be good times and not so good times but it does not change the basis of the relationship, once a committment has been made.

I would like to find a person who is secure and happy with themselves, that a relationship is not based off of another having to make them happy, the relationship only enhances their life in love and support.

I would like to find a person who is open and honest in the respect of when there is a problem to discuss it maturely, not try to blame each other and have to be the one that is right or wrong but to learn from it.

I do not need to list one hundred things as I feel that is asking for every detail that you want in a person. To me that is like saying you would like your life to never have hardship, to always be happy, to always have money, to never fall on bad times, to never have an argument, to always feel great.

In a relationship I would like it where both feel comfortable being around each other. That when and if a problem arises that a person will not seek solace outside the relationship. If you can not depend on your partner to trust that when there is a problem they will come to you then the relationship is not based off of love and trust.

Sasha

Being married one time for 17 years, I know what I don't want in a mate. I also know what I want.

I think when we over analyze what we want in a mate.we don't take the time to get tot know the person for what they really are.Because we are looking for all the right signs to flow thru.If we hit a spot where a few negatives come up,we automatically start the shut down process.

I am guilty of this to.

I know the genders thinking caps differ,but before you start thinking about a relationship with some one try being friends first.

If you enjoy being friends,there's a start.

I apologize - I am not single- but I really wanted to respond to this post, because to me making a list of 100 things one wants in a relationship sounds liks a recipe for disaster. Relationships fail (i think) because of expectations, so I would recommend taking a look at your expectations and needs and deciding what are deal breakers and what are not. A list of 100 desires will make it very hard for anyone to fit the bill. While there are those who have the love of the fairy tales (or so I am told), remember they are just that - fairy tales. It is trite I know, but really can not be stressed enough that solid relationships involve give and take, compromise and tough decisions. When we are young we often have huge idealist ideas of what a partnership means. We grow , we change and so do our expectations. (Growth is good). I think much of what ends up getting us involved with someone else is unconscious (upbringing related, hormonal, socially inculcated through movies and books etc.) I think in looking for a partner one would do better to think about what has caused grief about previous relationships and why and what was good about those relationships and why and then deciding what one really could handle differently and what one couldn't. If I met someone with a list of 100 desires - I would run the other way as fast as possible - but of course, that is just me (I).

Oh, by the way, science shows that the thinking caps of the sexes don't differ as much as we think. There is more variance between individuals of any sex than between the sexes on average in terms of brains and their behaviors. The idea of that difference is a prominent (and sometimes comforting (for me anyway)) social myth. (Our conceptions of what different genders do is socially constructed and may be another matter.)

I have had a very hard time pinpointing what I really want in a member of the opposite sex, as I like a little bit of EVERYTHING. I am attracted to tall guys, but I have also met shorter guys who have made me look twice. I can't say for sure that I desire an athletic guy because I have also been attracted to guys with a little belly. I can't say for certain that I want to settle down with an Intellectual because I have also enjoyed spending time with the ordinary, blue collar, "average Joe" kind of guy.

At this point I just can't say want my "type" is, and making a list of 100 things I want in a man may not help me very much. I think I am more interested in finding someone who I enjoy being with and talking to, who will be faithful and loyal to me, and will love and appreciate me.

Melolivia

i dont always trust my own judgment enough to make a list, and even if i did make a list, wouldnt that be like creating a fantasy man?

i mean, understanding a few traits that are attractive and desirable and good is one thing. self knowledge and learning from past relationships all teach us that, hopefully.

I tried making that list (there was a story in O magazine about a woman who did this and eventually found her "soul mate"!). I was bored so I gave it a whirl. I could only come up with 76 things. My friend tried making the list and she only came up 72. Is 100 the magic number? I'd settle for my top ten!