I know you're hurting, but you are better off without this one. We are not all damaged. When you find the one you're supposed to be with, she will love you for who you are, and not try to make you the reason for all her insecurities. Good luck.

"I did everything I could to help her" sounds like you knew she was damaged from the first and perhaps that was part of the attraction. If you feel one up from your partner, that she needs your help, it does not bode well for a relationship.

hey!sometimes when a person male or female is insecure they point out nflauts in others as a way of making themselves out to be the one that has all the answers and in fact usually its quite the opposite they have no real answers ,so they watch every move you make and if you just happen to look at another person of the oposite sex longer than they think you should well ur cheatin and would rather be with them.its often easy to be alone even when you are with them.you can not force love or even speed it along its a force of its own and all you can do is hang on when ur turn comes but hold on losely..remember to breathe

There are damaged singles, and damaged people who somehow stay in couples. Sorry this happened to you. But not everyone is a Jekyll and Hyde. Better luck next time.

You answered your own question.

The "damage" was done long before this woman was 40. I suspect that that is usually the case...

I expect that the over-40 dating scene has more than its share of damaged people for the same reason that one finds mostly odd-sized clothing in the store on the fifth day of a sale.

Of course, if we're out there saying, "How come everyone out here is a mess-- except, of course, for me!" then perhaps we could use a little self-examination of our own...