Is this one of those cases where if you don't give her the space she is asking for she will run further in the opposite direction, but if you back off and go enjoy your own life, friends and hobbies she will miss you and do an about face and want back with you? Has this strategy worked for anyone else out there?

It seems she's pulling away. But some things are beyond your control. Keep up the communication, although not as often, and if she does not welcome infrequent attempts from you, there's your answer.

Charlie I dont know.

Maybe your trying too hard?

Maybe she feels too much pressure towards

opening up and getting hurt again?

I guess this would be a good time to see if you have the trust inside of yourself too give her space without thinking its the end?

Maybe work on the communication issue of what she needs from you so she doesnt feel that way.. and if it is something that you can do?

BUT.. "I don't want to lose her in any form that we had before." Well, something has changed now and things might be different.

Change can be good or it can be unhealthy for both.

I dont know what else to say.

Charlie,

I am married to a woman that has similar situations in her past. First marriage ended with her in the hospital. Second marriage was to an abusive personality (a cop).

She has serious trust issues. I've NEVER raised a hand to her no matter how angry I may get. Even still she's still not trusting of me. She's convinced that every man will be abusive eventually. It's been 7 years of marriage and the trust just isn't there.

Keep telling and showing her how much you love her. If this issue is big enough it will cloud any future you may have with her.

Linda,

She made the comment that she sometimes regrets asking for the time/space, she does miss me and tell me she loves me. I tell her that she seems happy and we have told each other that we are happy. I think I just keep up the communication as I have and I keep telling her that I Love her and still show her that.

That's really all you can do. She asked for the space. Let her know if she wants things to be different than they are now, she needs to let you know because you won't push her.

Some women think that abusive relationships are familar and what they deserve and are confused by any other kind. She has to work that out, maybe with a good therapist, maybe with a good man.

Good points Isadora.

Charlie, your girlfriend sounds like me. I've run away from every good man who has crossed my path but jumped into the arms of the abusers and manipulators.

I come from an abusive, chaotic background. That's familiar to me. I think it's probably familiar to your girl too. Being involved with a good guy is a source of anxiety for someone who is accustomed to turmoil.

I don't think it's you. It's her. I think she would do herself and you a favor by getting into therapy so she can start the long process of deprogramming herself from all the past negativity.

You sound like a good guy. I bet she wants to trust you but can't because of her past. No matter how much you assure her, ultimately, the process of learning to trust has to start within her. She has to trust herself first.

Don't give up on her.