I don't know what your question is. You have had a hard row to hoe, but if you're still alive and kicking there is hope for the future. An unattached man of your age with a propensity for nurturing will be found appealing by many.

I keep thinking I'm going to wake up one morning and everything is going to be just fine. I look around me and it all looks perfectly normal, but at the end of the afternoon, no one comes home from school. At the end of the day, no one comes home from work. I'm just going through the motions. Cleaning house, doing the laundry, going grocery shopping, checking the mail. It looks okay, but no one is home.

I'm begining to identify with Thoreau's 'Quiet Desperation' only it's not so quiet. I'm lost, alone, and no place or no one to turn.

Sorry, But I'm sure there is a question somewhere ...

Singulus, you have turned here. That's a beginning. Your photo shows a handsome smiling man. He's in there somewhere. You may still be in shock, grieving, depressed. That's only natural, but you do need some support and comfort now. If you have no intimate friends or family to whom to turn, look for a newly single group or men's group or therapy groups. Often they are advertised in the alternative newspapers or phone therapists in the yellow pages and ask around for local groups.

Im glad you posted to this group. I can understand some of your feelings, as I am experiencing alot of the same things. I have been divorced 5 years and just now coming back from the daze. I understand the going thru the motions thing, I do the same thing. YOu are not alone and you took a step by posting your thoughts. I wish you well!!

Maybe it's time to reframe things, tell yourself a different story. You can say: I have no life. I'm just going through the motions. But that leaves you distressed and moping. Suppose you change the story. Suppose you decide that you're a fine man who raised your son and has had a tough time getting over divorce. But now you're ready to explore a new relationship. You're talented. You have a lot to offer. And you're more nurturing than the average guy. If you can embrace a story like that, then each day becomes the first day of the rest of your life and perhaps the future might look a little brighter.

Singulus, when I was single and dating, your bio would have been completely appealing. Nurturing guy who also was a cop? I am glad you are beginning to get out there, here at TeeBeeDee.

One question from your post: did you lose custody of your son? I don't know why you wouldn't have him at home with you any more just because your wife lost some of her marbles.

Technically, I have joint custody of my son. I just have no visable means of support. A bad decision on my part has left me on the brink of bankruptcy- If I can't support myself of what use am I as a father?

Just after the divorce a friend of mine offered me shelter in a community, an intentional community in Souther Illinois. In order to move there I commissioned a 30' trailer, had one built, and purchased a truck to pull it, thinking I could sell it when I got there and recover the assets. I was wrong and in the process lost $ 50,000.00.

Another friend, alarmed at what happened to me there, offered me a partnership, a job and a place to stay in the middle of the desert near Utah, Arizona, & Nevada.

I invested another $ 6,000.00

Guess what?

Now I'm lost, alone, feeling abandoned & depressed AND about to run out of money.

Forgive me for saying so, but how appealing is that? Kinda scares people away no matter how many positive attributes I have, doesn't it?

But I am open to suggestions, looking for partners and ready to work on this, okay. Call me a romantic optimist, albeit quite desparate.