life in general is all about doing time on earth while you are here,so use time wisely,

Also snuggle up with a new friend named "change." Life is all about changes, time to come to peace with that idea.

So maybe you have to learn to make do with less "stuff" than you used to have. Less fancy vacations or cars or whatever. It will be OK, and it will become BETTER THAN OK. Eventually it all starts to look good again. This is all temporary setback.

And eventually maybe we can all take someone else's needs seriously. Until then, make friends with lots of people including the opposite gender.

Ever had a really good "friend" without ben's of the OG? You bet your boots I have bunches of them. They are fabulous, hetero guys I adore but have no desire to ruin the relationships by throwing in any monkey business.

In the mean time, take some classes on French cooking or belly dancing or painting/photography/yoga or something. Explore your old hobbies and interests. Hit bucket after bucket of golf balls at the driving range. Start walking or jogging or doing sit ups or something. Join the Y and go swimming every day after work. Just DO something.

Meet some people, drink some coffee at the snooty coffee shop with other people Just Like You And Me. Start designing that dream home you have always wanted. Clean out some of the junk in your mind while your busy doing something else.

Wanna hear a funny story related to this very thing? I was at Christmas with my nieces and their parents this weekend. We were looking at wedding photos. There were some other random "using up the roll" photos in the stack. One of them was my cousin, my GF Nancy, another neighbor, and some man I kinda thought I should know who he was, but for the life of me could not place him or ID him.

I asked my niece, she looked at me like I was nuts. I'm totally confused and saying no really who is this? Her Mom walks up and asks who in the photo I am trying to identify. She looks at it, hands it back to me and says "That would be Mick." My X.

I didn't even recognize him.

I am in the process of trying to separate myself from a man that was very recently divorced. He is very persistent on developing a relationship with me but still has emotional bonds with his exwife. I realize he is not ready but he doesnt realize he is not ready to jump into another relationship. I am avoiding him at all cost and beginning to spend time with other friends and it has been difficult because I fell really hard for him. There is always some question in my heart if I should just give it more time and everything says NO. But I do miss him and I move on. I guess I was going through something to get so involved so soon and this is what I must concentrate on so I dont make the same mistake twice. It's funny because I am such a self sufficient and independent woman and I fell for this man who is so emotionally unavailable for me. I guess no matter how much I think I have it together I still need some work. I lost at love this time but I still hold on to hope.

Sounds like you had the "sense" to follow your own "Good Sense".

Even though I've been in a great marriage/relationship for 29 years, and my husband and I have 2 grown kids whom we also love deeply, I did go through a lot of heartache in my late teens and 20's. My first marital break-up was very devastating; we really didn't know each other that well.

Met my current husband and love of my life, out at a mall, while I was with my best friend. He had moved next door to her, and she saw him coming out of a Superman movie, introduced us, and we immediately connected!

My advice to get over your heartbreak is:

1.Focus on taking baby steps, EACH DAY, and look to the future, do NOT DWELL on the past.

2.Get rid of, or put out of sight, old photos, keepsakes, etc., they'll just be reminders of your ex.

3.Continue to work, and MAKE YOURSELF join a group activity, whatever you're interested in: book club, hiking, bowling, exercising, cooking class, art, Community or Rec Center class, join a church, singles group-these are in every town/city!

4.Get out of your place- call a friend, or family member, or go alone, and/or take a walk, either at a nice park, or, visit a nearby mall, a library, a museum, a tourist attraction, or even just stroll around your town or neighborhood. You'll be surprised at the things that you notice WALKING, as opposed to driving!

5.Start writing a daily journal,and jot down good and bad feelings. However, always end each writing on a positive note, even if it's simply saying that you are thankful to have the ability to breathe, see the sky, walk, watch TV, read, feed yourself, and so on!

6.If you can't afford counseling, many kind church ministers and/or trained lay ministry volunteers will talk to you, listen, and give advice and counseling, for free! Often, you don't even have to be a church member, or a follower of that faith!

7.Remember the words of the globally revered and respected Dalai Lama: "Never give up, no matter what is happening, or going on around you."

Stay strong, sending Blessings to all.

Hello, I have never been in a situation where divorce was concern, but now then I am a widowed woman.Have been for 5 years now, I say to all of you who are divorce to stay alone at least for a year.Withen one year you will know what you want and need.In that time span you will know if it's worth to have another try with someone else.I was married for a very long time and to me what I had is about enough for the rest of my life. Blessings Alize...

ok ive been divorced for 8 years ive put my life on hold to raise my boys 16 and 20 now how do i take my life off hold ive dated but i wont love anyone and wont let anyone love me any suggestions