I did not help another person, but I recently suffered job loss. A former coworker and friend helped me by remininding me that it was not my fault and that I am smart enough and talented enough to find another job. My mother also gave me this same message. I found this extremely helpful.

I must say that the stress of losing my job was nothing compared to the stress that my former boss put me through. I think it was actually a relief to be layed off.

I find that most of the time other peoples stress does not rub off on me. Generally, I actually become stronger and try to help the other person with their stress.

My loss is two-fold. I have lost my health in a car accident which has left me unable to walk more then 100 feet without pain and constant pain whether I'm walking or not, in my back and legs. It was a drunk driver and for some reason the insurance company of the guy who hit me doesn't want to pay for my loss. So I am dealing with never being able to work again, or go to the mall, or to a museum or travel or ride horses or dance, or any of things I enjoyed. I am facing living on diability which is a life of poverty. And also this year, with the pain meds, I've gained weight and a hair stylist gave me a chemical burn and my hair fell out. So I am dealing with a loss of how I look, too.

I know the answers to these issues lies in loving myself and not needing anyone else to fill that void. Not material things or people. Just myself is needed. How to do that is something I'm not sure of how to do, but I better learn it fast.

Maybe all this had to happen so I'd look inside and gain widsom. I feel silly it took me this long to learn this lesson. I really, really hope I can learn it 100% so I can accept everything else that has happened.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thank you!!!

Hello CRDani,

Isn't it wonderful to have someone trustworthy to turn to or who turns to help you? You know you are blessed.

Even more interesting is the fact that you have stated: sometimes a loss is a blessing too, because it saves you from 'hell' or simply falling apart. Now it is your chance to revamp and go after the best life yet...both by following your purpose/vision/passion and charting a new career course. Please listen to my radio show tomorrow as listed in my profile and the archived shows, which will definitely help you at this point. There are tips for job search and re-aligning yourself to be your best, especially for a New Year. I think the future is very bright for you (especially since you seem to have a very positive approach)and I would like you to confirm that to me very shortly. Regards. Hyacinth

Hello Madley,

I am glad that you are reaching out and I am sorry about all your losses but I can assure you that you are at the right point to GAIN. I hope you are getting help with your physical condition especially since it was not your fault at all, so do not give up that fight and in these days of medical advances, the prospect of being disabled forever does not have to be a reality. Think about that. Regarding poverty, that does not have to be either, even in this time of recession and global economic mess. I invite you too to listen to my radio shows, and especially tomorrow when we talk about Stress and Finances. If you are not sure how, just email me (in my profile) and I will expect to hear you on the show. I am anxious to continue this dialogue with you after you have learned and been inspired from the contents of the show. You will find that they are exactly what you need at this time. The good creator always prepare things for us in advance. No hurry, you said to learn fast but learning takes time,just make sure you don't miss your chances, that's all. Take care and keep talking. Hyacinth.

Madley,

I am so sorry to hear about the situations you face. My problems pale in comparison. I do understand how difficult it can be to overcome these kinds of situations. You don't need to feel "silly", because many of us take along time to learn those lessons. I struggle to learn many lessons that I wish I had learned long ago.

Learning to listen to our own internal wisdom is sometimes difficult particularly in the middle of troubles. And, yes, we do need to learn to accept everything. That is also not easy! The good news is that it is in our hands. Err, that is it is in our heads. What I am trying to do is silence my own internal voice that keeps giving me all the doom and gloom information. I am trying to tune into the part of me that sees things in the positive.

Somewhere I heard that it is a good idea every morning and find three things for which we are thankful. I think it was somewhere in one of these discussion groups.

What I am trying to say in my own clumsy way is: keep trying to accept things as they are, let go and move forward, and let your capacity for self-love be your companion. That's what I am trying to do. Know that are not alone.

Hyacinth,

Thanks for your comments. It is not always easy to have a positive approach. A little over a month to go, I was ready to fall apart. I was suffering anxiety and could hardly eat or sleep. I was on the short track to a "nervous breakdown".

I have not yet had a chance to listen to your show, but I will check it out.

So, how are you both doing now, CRDani and Madley? Anything good to report? Let us hear from you.