We use IM in the office a lot - mostly because we work in one big room and it's a bit rude to scream a question across the room at a co-worker. But in my "real" life - no IM. I also don't text. Not because I have anything against it really, but I like to spend time with the folks I'm communicating with, and really listen to what they're saying - a voice says more than the words.

I hate IM and don't use it. I do use text a lot as a way to leave a quick message for my husband and to keep in touch with my adult children who don't live in my same time zone.

I no longer allow anyone to IM me. I don't have call waiting. I don't use text messages or accept them. I find these things rude. I perceive it as "I'm more important than you or anything else you may be doing. Respond to ME now!" There are a few people in my life who abuse these services daily. They are just not allowed to abuse them with me. People who know me well know that I use caller ID and the answering machine to screen calls. Its as good as a receptionist. I work from home. I can't drop everything to have conversations whenever someone calls.

Overall, I give it a thumbs down. I do have it and use it occasionally, as well as text messaging because I have 3 teenagers to keep up with as well as a slew of friends. But, only for quick, pertinent informational communications. Otherwise, I write e-mail letters, or actually TALK to someone, and only after I have taken the time to ponder what I really want and need to say. And, WHEN I want to say it.

I have not read very much about EM, but I must have adopted some of the principles through life experience! When I was the Director of a clinic, I often would stop and count to ten before I spoke in a crisis. I also would reschedule a meeting with a staff member if I realized they were losing emotional control.

It has taken a lot of practice to keep my limbic system in check in general. I beleve there is merit to the EM theory. I have a book on the topic. After this discussion, I will find it and read!!!

Keep exploring,

Anthony

What a very interesting topic!

I first started using IM about a year ago when another online group I was a member of decided to have a weekly chat hour. That was fun. The chat hour eventually dwindled, yet there were a few people I kept in touch with via IM--one on a daily basis and others at random. I have added other contacts to my IM list and most of those are random chatters. Today, I chat almost daily, with a young niece/new mother. For her, it’s a bridge with the outside world when the wee ones are napping. I wish IM had been available for me when my sons were napping.

I’ve used email as a means of communication for many years, yet do no text messaging.

There are pros and cons to the “Immediate Self Gratification” of IM. As others have stated here, often times we do want to take some time to mull over what has been presented to us before we respond. We still have that available with email. However, in IM we’re usually expected to post an immediate response. If we happen to break that response down into posting fragments, often times the receiver will interject before we’ve completed our thought. It’s like being interrupted in conversation. Then it takes a bit of time to go back and sort through, often times resulting in the receiver saying “NM (never mind), got it!” Furthermore, even though we have the luxury of emoticons--still so much gets lost in typed text! The influx of the voice, the RL (real life) emotions, the overall jest of the conversation can turn topsy-turvy in IM. This is not good.

For myself, I’ve learned there are certain people with whom I can IM and have no communication problems and there are others I cannot. With IM you are in your world, your surrounding, things happening about you and I am not privy to that, vice-versa. This too can affect the flow of an IM conversation.

I am a business owner and if I have to meet a client who arrives at the front door I will not put them off long enough to post in IM to whomever may be on screen that a client is at the front door. There must be a respectful understanding of each others circumstances in order to have a healthy IM relationship.

I guess that’s what I have on this topic for now.

It is an interesting comment Bebe, but I think the people who have posted the previous comments have not made a contribution to TBD for some while.

This topic started last August and has only had 6 responses including thee and me!