Hi Joseph, My name is Ginger, and I have a son that is gay, this has been a VERY hard road for me I have raised him in the church, and thought that his life would be different. I thought I would have a daughter-inlaw and grandkids some day, I dont know I guess I tought that I would have a life just like ever one else did one day. I have know that my son is gay for about 3 years now, but he is 17 now and has started dating, so this is a whole new ball game for me. I do worry about his salivation you know how will god see it, I know that he is saved, and I belive once saved always saved. but this goes against everything that we belive in. can you help ease my mind a little, I do love my son so very much and nothing he can do will ever change that. oh and I will through in that his father doesnt know that he is gay, I have not found the right time or words too tell him our only son is gay, Tyler and his dad do not have a very good relationship to start with. Thanks for starting this group

Hello Ginger.

I'm a straight male and I really can't help you very much in that I have two hetro daughters, but I hope you don't mind if I put my 2 cents in here.

All I know is that the gay men and women I have met are as equal to the salt of the earth as anyone else.

I suspect that the reason Tyler and his dad do not have a good relationship is that Dad already knows and is probably ashamed in his own mind to admit it.

This is sad really, but the person I am most sad for is your husband.

Joseph has chosen some wise words when he states: "unconditional love, acceptance and tolerance of difference".

I attended a civil ceremony of two gay friends of mine last weekend and was honoured to have been invited to be part of the ceremony. If either you or Tyler or Joseph would like to read what I said, please feel free to send me a private message.

It's ridiculous not to realize that God is a Hermaphrodite.

Naturally.

Just as it is ridiculous to try to categorize infinity.

does anyone remember Dory Previns song

abuot Jesus being androgynous?

I remember part of it being "Jesus was a he and she...Jesus was a freak-O baby just like yuo and me"

I remember a song she rote called 'Left hand Lost' that helped me recover from my guilty catholic upbringing also.

I want to clarify- i said GUILTY catholic

not all/any catholic

dodger

Hi Ginger - My name is Sandi,

When my mother discovered I was a lesbian, they carried her out of her house in a straight jacket, squealing like a pig... my father screaming...

((("Look what you've done to your MOTHER!!!")))

I've wondered if he or she ever care what that did to me? I tried to shield her, protect her from my Truth, but she never got over hating me, hurting me, condemning me, for not living my life as she wanted.

Once I saw a play written by a 19 year old, sweet young guy who was dying of AIDS. His father beat him with a hammer when he found out he was "a queer".

No other minority suffers pain of rejection and condemnation as much as a queer, I'd say "gay" - but the word hardly fits.

Black people love their children, in spite of their color, but queers are despised by their families - and NATIONS!... "the abominable stench"... no one wants to get any on them.

Parents feel intense guilt and shame, they tend to think their child's affliction is somehow, some way, their fault - no way is this true, unless they've passed on a "gay gene".

In any event, no one's to blame, and by the way... (it's also consider to be the "genius gene").

Your son is only dating for show, he's trying to lie to save you and himself from the agony of persecution, disappointment and shame.

I'm almost 70 years old, and I'm here to tell you, even though homosexuality has come way out of the closet, the general consensus of opinion about queers hasn't gotten a lot better.

I pretty much keep my pink triangle hidden, can't stand the sight of disgust on people faces, but in any event, don't sit around hoping for grandkids, unless you'd like to see them suffer, as much, if not more than you, your husband, and your son.... all put together!

Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Don't worry about your husband... don't harm your son - support him, be proud of him... his life won't be easy.

Be strong, stand by him, your love will help him be strong, he needs your strength and support in his tenuous and confusing journey through life.

God Love us, God Blesses us all... each and every one, as Tiny Tim would say. Like Jesus, homosexuals carry a heavy cross... they get nailed and crucified on a regular basis.

For Christ's Sake!... love your son unconditionally. He desperately needs you and his father to accept him, as he is.

No matter how desperately he wants to be "normal", he can't change, he can't be like the guy next door, and never will.

Quit acting like there's something wrong with him. The world's wrong... the problem is their ignorance.

I'm throughly convinced that AIDS is an emotional disease, rooted in sorrow, shame, degradation and guilt.

You must help your son now, before it's too late. Be on his side, he needs courage to face a world that despises his very Nature. Don't be afraid of what others think and say...

"Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

hi incognito,

thanks so much for you response, and your words of wisdom, I do love my son so very much no matter what, it's my husband that i worry about,,I'm just not sure how he will take all of this. he has no choice but to except him for who he is, but we have a nephew on his side of the family that is gay, and he calls him things in front of Tyler that he shouldn't, thats his flesh and blood, so you see what I'm really afraid of is he will start calling Tyler those ugly names, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT, and that's when we will part ways, and I just don't want it to come to that.

Just think how that would make Tyler feel that he was the cause of his dad and I breaking up over all of this.

anyway you are right this is a long hard battle, but I will never leave Tyler to fight it alone, and I'm so sorry that your mother couldn't see past that and love you for who you are .

Thanks for your input.