Regarding butch. It's like that judge famously said about trying to pin down what defines porn:

"You know it when you see it."

That said, within the butch substrata, I've met a wide and wild pendulum swing of personalities and temperaments, from lamb to bulldozer. So I think your friend was off in her comment, a victim perhaps of limited exposure to the LGBT world.

I'm the flip on you, a Streisand-loving gay man who is also a dad and very handy. I could happily move into Home Depot and live out my days. I've never met a power tool I didn't like (it's too easy; don't make the joke), but this afternoon, for a few hours, I wore the sparkly necklace my daughter bought at the Dollar Store. And I looked damn good.

People like to pigeonhole. We all do it. We see what's on the surface or most obvious and that's our first impression. Further investigation and a more measured examination usually reveal a complex myriad of qualities that make each of us unique.

Totally agree - I believe that labels and stereotypes simply make it easier to pigeonhole people so one's tiny head doesn't explode over the variety and breadth of personality attributes.

As I think Jameliz points out with his Home Depot example, we (people) are too multi-faceted to be categorized.

I once stunned a large group of gay friends who "popped by" only to find me in my driveway - up to my elbows in grease, drinking bourbon neat, and ripping out and replacing the ignition system in my classic Mustang.

Other times, I get busted for ironing or cleaning the house with Mame/Gypsy/Chicago/Dreamgirls/Hairspray on infinite shuffle on the CD player and turned up to 9.

Which of those exemplifies who I am? Neither - they are simply threads in the bigger tapestry.

Now that I've reread what I wrote and realize I have totally parroted what Jameliz said - I'll go listen to some show tunes. And possibly pull out my 16 ton hydraulic jacks - the house is a bit off.

Well! labels and stereotypes where would we be with out them? we all have them they are how we identify and cope with others around us, ie. " you know so and so, that big butch leather queen" Are they always true to type? not always and most likely not at all. My first impressions of a person usually falls under a label or stereotype for them. It is not until you know how a person labels theirself and how they see how they fit into the world around them can you touch the tip of the iceberg on labels and stereotypes

I sort of agree. I think labels have a life-cycle. When first coming out, the label is something to help identify. Later the label may become stifling.

There's still times where labels come in handy. It's a quick way to identify what I'm into when I'm cruising :)

As my profile says, I'm a femme girl with power tools. I have been known to amuse the neighbors by sawing down a door while barefoot and in a dress. I think half the fun for me is messing with stereotypes and the pre-judgements people make.

Excellent, Deb - I agree. And I love the mental image! Cheers