Posted: Sep 30, 08 11:05am
Many gay men say they always knew they were gay. They say, "I knew from the time I was a boy that I was gay."
Not me. I developed same sex attraction only at the point of my sexual maturity at age fourteen, when I first started to ejaculate.
Before the age of 14 I was only interested in girls.
From the age of 3 to 6 (what psychoanalysts traditionally call the oedipal period) I suffered from a fetish called maschalophilous. I was sexually aroused by looking at men's hairy armpits. The hairy armpit of a man resembles a woman's private area. Maschalophilous is considered a displacement from the vagina onto the armpit. I guess you could say that as a small boy I was obsessed with vaginas.
At age 6 my parents took me to a theatrical performance that featured a female ballet dancer. I had an erection throughout the performance, as I watched the woman spread her legs.
At age 9 I begged a girl to see her vagina. (She refused. I think she thought I was a pervert, which I guess I was.)
Again, at age 9, I got naked with a fifteen year old girl in her living room. I watched her pleasure herself and got a raging, throbbing erection that wouldn't go away. To this day I am aroused by the thought of that experience, and I consider a woman pleasuring herself to be one of the most erotic things imaginable.
When I was a boy I had no sexual interest in other boys. I never had romantic feelings for another boy.
All that changed at age 14 when I first developed same-sex attraction. Maybe I'm unusual in that respect.
