There are no rules,and expectations lead to disappointment. Some men expect the women to pay her share and some men wouldn't hear of it. If you meet a man in person and he asks you out you might reasonably expect him to offer to pay. After all, he did invite you and the person who does the inviting, regardless of sex, usually does pay.

Online dating is an exploration of mutual interest. Nither one is "courting" the other. It makes sense to me that the expenses of this exploratory gettogether be shared.

"I drove to a meeting spot of their choice,"

I think it would be safer for you to control where you go to meet a stranger. How about coffee in a public place? Starbucks or ice cream and a walk are not as expensive and you don't overextend your own finances by paying for these meet ups.

When my good friend was going on a lot of dates from online sites, she always went to our local Starbucks for the first meet-up.

She finally met a great guy (we all adore!) and after dating for two years, they got married.

The guys in my opinion were cheap. What ever happened to chivalry? For this man it is alive and well... opening doors, pulling out chairs and things that should come 2nd nature.

I agree, however I have found this only works if she is a lady first (being chivalrous). Most now days think it is some kind of game you are playing to impress them or something.

I and a friend of mine had such a laugh the other day,( I was on the phone with her as she was walking in to a restaurant. She busted out laughing. I asked her what was so funny and she said she was standing at the door waiting for me to open it for her.) I died.

I don't date online, but I've come up against this in getting to know men in the real world, too. I like Isadora's suggestion that "courting" is different from "exploring mutual interests", which seems a comfortable enough context for going dutch.

Like many women, my personal financial circumstances don't allow me many luxuries and restaurant meals. A Starbucks meeting and a (public) walk/arts festival/ free performances in a park, etc., are better for "getting to know you."

Who asked who out.... that is where the line is drawn for me if I ask you out I expect to pay if a guy asks me out he better be prepped to pay or don't ask me out.

Now I don't care if we meet at starbucks or a five star restaurant, if you are asking me out be prepared to pay. I will pick up a bill or several no problems but I think it speaks to someone character if they are asking you out and expecting you to pay after they choose the place.

And my experience is exactly what I have said.. I have talked to guys who have said in advance lets go dutch and when I asked why they said I am not funding someone dating life and I said I don't date cheapskates, and a dinner or coffee (which is my preferred 1st date anyway) isn't funding my dating life.

Every man who has asked me out has paid for the date, I generally reach for my wallet and ask if I can help pay and I will pay if they say sure. But all of them have always said no my pleasure.

On a first date, and subsequently, the question of who pays can feel awkward. It's best to resolve this before you meet. As you're emailing or phoning to make arrangements to meet, casually mention that you're happy to pay for yourself--even if you'd rather not. If he says, fine, pay for yourself, then you've learned something about him. If his agreement to go dutch really bothers you, you can break the date. On the other hand, if he says, Oh, no, I'm happy to pay, then you've also learned something about him. That's what dating is all about, learning about the other person. If you care about who pays, raise the subject early in your interactions.