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Group admin:: Trish McDermott
Created:: August 10, 2007
: 1769 Members

Group Tags:

relationships, dating, online dating

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Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Posted: Jul 21, 08 5:39am

Have you found that dating online is like a self fulfilling prophecy?

As a general rule I have found that when I started looking again if I thought a website was going to suck in advance it did, if I thought a date wasn't going to be the guy for me invariably he wasn't... there was always something wrong with him (there is never anything wrong with me the whole world love me ;-) )

But when I started to change my mindset to one where you know dating is kinda fun actually a lot of fun! It is just meeting people, chatting having a good time, sharing a coffee or a drink. Where online, the men who are responding to my ad are generally intelligent, educated and attractive people who interest me, generally they changed from being guys who were not what I was interested in to men I was much more interested in dating became fun again.

Is dating only as hard as we make it? Is finding someone to spend a little time with only as difficult as we interpret it to be? I am at the point where I am enjoying dating had three different dates with three different people in the last week. Simple drinks, lunch whatever. All of the dates were radically different people with very different lives and all were fun and enjoyable in their own ways. I kinda like being a serial dater, I am debating whether I am cut out for marriage... but for now dating is simple and fun and just that dating.. courting and having a good time.

Do we make this harder than it needs to be?

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13 Comments // 11 Members

kaerupix

Posted: Jul 21, 08 5:53am

SusieQ321 wrote:

Is dating only as hard as we make it?

i'd say that dating around is very healthy. but datee and dator must share a mutual understanding about keeping the stakes low. the complications arise when one party has higher stake expectations.

the person with the lowest expectation ultimately controls the situation, which is why dating around is more emotionally safe.

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richardT

Posted: Jul 21, 08 8:30am

Its possible you might get to the point you cant remember whos who.

What is your primary objective of these dates? Keep that in mind so you will remember.

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recall

Posted: Jul 21, 08 8:57am

Most of us do. Find it difficult. As of now you are probably right about you being a serial dater. But you are still young and have time and numbers that are still available to you. Plus from my point of view as a male it is different. I'm not seeking to just buy someone drinks or dinner. As a guy I'm on the hunt.

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SusieQ321

Posted: Jul 21, 08 9:16am

The primary objective is the same as a mans see if any of them are compatible and see where it goes.... but in the meantime, why not have fun dating... does it have to be hard... cant it be more fun...

Do we put the pressure on or is it inherent?

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Michael Kettner

Posted: Jul 21, 08 10:06am

I think you're onto something there. Might even be bigger than just dating. Perhaps most of life is like that. We get what we expect to and the big challenge there is to allow the expectation of more and better.

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richardT

Posted: Jul 21, 08 10:37am

SusieQ321 wrote:

why not have fun dating... does it have to be hard... cant it be more fun...

Do we put the pressure on or is it inherent?

Both - the pressure is inherent also. Dating can change the way you look at others and how you view yourself.

Every date your sharing a part of your life with a new person if they are truly interested.

The way you tell the same story over and over again will change or you may not tell it at all. This is where your personality begins to change over time. It could make you better or seem like plastic person.

Have fun but be yourself always.

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stillgoing

Posted: Jul 21, 08 4:27pm

Dating can be weird. I've had great dates which turned into have turned into great friends.

I've had some very short dates which ended in the sack and did not continue. And I've had some dates which turned into long term loving relationships.....which unfortunately have ended.

You never know until you jump in with both feet. Expect nothing and see Joe's post on another thread I can't recall right off. LOL

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