Great post Mariposa123, I think you will have many replies to this topic. For myself could you clarify what you mean by "real relationships"?

All my best,

Mick.

This is an excellent post, Mariposa. Thank you for it.

This is what I have observed and discovered in my life regarding relationships and my spirituality:

Regarding intimate relationships, I have discovered a tendency in myself to put my beloved ahead of my "God'--my understanding of divinity, of the cosmos, of the ineffable mystery that calls me, the Creator, the Great Spirit, call it whatever you wish,--so that I make a god of my beloved and so forget and even neglect my connection to that deeper truth. Now that I am aware of this tendency in myself, I am determined not to fall into that trap anymore. However, I have not had an intimate relationship since I have discovered this truth about myself.

Regarding close friends, those whom I consider to be kindred spirits (and so, in many ways are to me my true family), the love, trust, understanding, and sharing that flows between us only serves to deepen my spiritual growth. Even our disagreements serve this purpose, as they offer opportunities for growth and new understandings and insights.

As for my family, that is much murkier water. I love them from afar, and endeavor to accept them for the flawed people they are, despite what hurts they have caused me. I am not doing this in direct relationship with them, however, and so this in itself constitutes a completely other experience that I would be hesitant to define as a relationship.

Without going into all the possibilities that this question poses, I will say this... When my family & I go to church as a family, we tend to be closer for it. Is it particular to our religion? I dont think so. But I do believe the sense of tranquility we receive tends to follow us thru the week. This in turn tends to make us closer & stronger.

For me, a "real" relationship is one that is based in reality, in the here and now. There is mutual honesty, integrity, respect, and genuine concern for the welfare and well being of the other person. There are no selfish motivations or manipulations. And, this is whether the person I am in relationship with is friend, family, or lover.

Henry, my relational experiences have been much the same.

Great topic for discussion! I have observed that my relationships with everyone have improved because of my spiritual growth, and particularly with my family and my significant other. I also feel that I am connecting with more people as a result and this has expanded my group of friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

Thank you Mariposa123,

I copied your post again here because I know my reply and questions are going to show up way down the page, so it will save us all having to scroll to the top for reference :) this website is strange like that and I have given up asking tbd to fix it.

You said: "For me, a "real" relationship is one that is based in reality, in the here and now. There is mutual honesty, integrity, respect, and genuine concern for the welfare and well being of the other person. There are no selfish motivations or manipulations. And, this is whether the person I am in relationship with is friend, family, or lover."

Thank you for this. Relationships are near and dear to my work, so I am very interested to hear more from you, so I have another question for you, if you please. Would you tell me what (if any) might be the product of such relationships. If 'product' sounds a bit cold, just think about it for a while. Imagine two or more people get together in a context, as you described, and with no selfish motivations or manipulations. Does that coming together, or union produce something? Can you describe that product for me in your own words?

All my best,

Mick.