Forgiveness is for you and not the person you are forgiving. Unforgiveness

in your heart will act as a poison in your system.

I rather let some other people jump into this topic. It is a long detailed reason why you need to forgive others.

I can promise you, forgiveness sets you free. Forgiveness is a choice and a decission you make. It is NOT a feeling.

Thank you for the thought Onfire. You sure sound like you are on fire. Keep the flames burning. Forgiveness can be a detailed discussion, that is why I want to get different perspective on the topic. Thank you.

Forgiveness is more the "letting go" of the pent-up anger, frustration, rage, guilt, self-blame that harm the holder of the feelings than it is meant to be of benefit to the recipient of the forgiveness. The exception is when you are the object of the forgiveness and want to expiate your guilt. It is a complex dynamic in which there are many possible outcomes.

When you forgive, it does not mean that you will forget. It is simply that you let go of the desire for revenge, compensation or focus upon what was done to you by the other person. You move on.

To be forgiven is not permission to go do it again which many people do. Think of the situation where an abusive person is looking for forgiveness only so the other person will let his or her guard down so the act can be repeated.

"I forgive you not because it is good for you, but because it is good for me," is the sound way to approach forgiveness. It does not mean that I will accept further transgressions by you upon my person. You know the old canard, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Forgiveness is never meant to be license for further acts that need to be forgiven.

Small transgressions need to be let go quickly and without ceremony. Large transgressions need to be let go of quickly but with consequences should they be repeated. The goal: Self-preservation from your own feelings and from the actions of others.

Hurt my feelings and I will grow a thicker skin. Hurt my body or soul and I will forgive but if the transgression is sufficiently serious, I will also, in a legal and socially acceptable manner, balance the scales.

Forgiveness is as important to survival as food and water.

When you forgive you are taking control back, you are not allowing the person, their words or deeds to have power over you.

It's a difficult thing to do - to release the hurt, but in the end its the only thing that allows you to heal completely.

Hi Addie,

This is a great topic to open. Thank you.

I would like to take some time with this one with you, and then other members of our group will comment also along our main thread.

I am going to enter the topic of forgiveness from what is called an absolute perspective, as opposed to a relative perspective.

A relative perspective includes the here and now, feelings, thoughts, the action which offended, and the act of forgiveness.

The absolute perspective is that which includes all of the above (and more), yet because it is the context or if you wish, the witness, the observer or the source, it is fundamentally unattached to the offensive actions, the person who acted, the forgiveness, and the person who forgave.

Please bear with me on this. If you feel like I am gone too much off target for you, let me know and I will come back to another point. You will see how this is important in really (and truly) coming to terms with being offended and the need to forgive.

Mick.

When you forgive, it does not mean that you will forget.

A great line Milt T!

Hey Mick,

I think you are on to something here, but elaborate some more please. I like where you are headed with this.

Addie