Lacking focus is not necessarily an indication of depression. The fact that previous medications failed to manage your condition may also suggest that you have more than a depressive disorder. For instance, bi-polar disorder can be partially diagnosed from the failure of common antidepressants.

Then, you have the problems surrounding holidays, general unhappiness and memory.

You do need trusted friends. I respectfully suggest that one confidant friend be a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. At this stage you must have a firm diagnosis made of your condition before anything else is done. Then appropriate therapy can be undertaken.

To me, it sounds very much that you need help.

When you say "doctors" are you referring to your primary care physician, an ob-gyn or a psychiatrist? Only a psychiatrist can properly diagnose and treat your condition. Would you go to your GP for brain surgery?

Your presentation here sounds like you need a professional diagnosis to both find out if you have a condition that is chemical - clinical depression with anxiety or bipolar disorder or if you simply have a condition that is psychological in nature in which case a good therapist to talk to would be of immense help.

The fact that you have resisted help says that the biggest problem is that you lived in denial until the symptoms are so bad that you can't function around them. Time to get off the stick and into action ... or you can just sit and complain and you see where that has gotten you.

Best of luck and please, do something. If it is a chemical imbalance in your system, the right diagnosis with the right meds with therapy can work wonders. Ask anyone who has been there and has come back.

Milt, exactly,you hit the nail on the head!

You wouldnt think about not seeking help if you had a broke leg,dont feel bad about seeking help! ONLY FEEL BAD IF YOU DONT SEEK HELP!

Good luck to you!

Kay

hurt people hurt people!

Hello fellow humans...

I am struggling as well and am on some meds. They do help but they havent cured me.

What I have found that really works is to talk to the little guy inside me who was never taken care of and love always came at a price.

I tell him that perfect is a goal not an absolute. That being ok is sometimes the best he can do and that it is good enough. I have learned to talk to him the way i would talk to my kids if they were struggling or hurting. It's ok to hurt and have feelings. I have to actually say these things outloud to myself because i never heard them growing up. I always heard "You dont need anything, ur strong" well that has been taken into most if not all my relationships till now. Now its ok to be human. I also pray alot and talk to God as I would to my dad or my best friend. I too have had some of the same feelings and am now tired of feeling the way i have for most of 45 yrs.

Try telling yourself what u would tell anyone u care about what not to do and how to try to feel better. Most days it works for me and I have a talk with little Terry every night.