Posted: May 31, 08 11:34am

Hi! My name is Lisa. I have 3 children ages 20. 18. and 9. My girls have become adults now and my oldest has given me grandkids!!

I make it a point for their father's to be active in their lives and because of that, I keep the peace. I have been married twice and divorced twice. My first husband and I still get along and talk frequently.

My son's dad has married and has a daughter of his own. His daughter started kindergarten this year and my son was starting 3rd grade. My ex was afraid that his little girl would be afraid to ride the bus to school by herself and wondered if I would let him keep our son through the school year. Being the kind of person I am, (keeping the peace) I agreed. Now my ex is fighting for custody.

This was really a surprise for me, but he really wants to get out of that child support. I hired an attorney. I went in for the initial meeting with him and decided to hire him. The second meeting with my lawyer, involved my son. My lawyer sat my son down and talked with him in private. When my son came out of his office, he looked relieved. He wants to come back home and I told my lawyer that I want whatever he wants.

Yesterday, we had a 4-way conference. My ex-boyfriend, his lawyer, my lawyer, and myself. My lawyer was going for joint custody, explaining his meeting with my son and my ex was furious. I was told that no judge will "flip flop" a child from school to school and that I should go for custody when he reaches middle school. My son would be of age to legally decide for himself where he would like to live.

I left the meeting feeling somewhat defeated, and decided to stop at my ex-husband house, we both share alot of drama in our lives and talk to each other regularly,

I told him what had happened. Through our conversation, my ex-husband kept saying to tell my son's dad that he "owes him one". I didn't quite know what it meant, so I asked. He really didn't want to tell me, but finally came out and said that my son's dad had fondled our daughter (my 20-year old) when she was younger.

I left his house and confronted my daughter with this information. I asked her why she didn't tell me about this years ago. Her response was "she didn't want to hurt me." Keeping this from me makes me hurt worse.

I haven't signed papers for joint custody and won't. I have told my daughter to write down on a piece of paper her memories of the situation so that I may reveal this information to my attorney. I am just afraid that a judge is going to look at me like the defeated parent that didn't get her way and let my son stay in the hands of his father (the predator). Molestation is a very serious accusation and I don't think I will be taken seriously in court.

I have in my life suffered from depression,and anxiety. I am a survivor of sexual, emotional and physical abuse for many years. I just do not know what my next move should be to make the judge believe my daughter's story.