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Created:: December 20, 2007
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health, depression

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Bi-Polar Disorder

Posted: Jun 8, 08 7:25pm

Depression, racey thoughts, no concentration, angry, sleepy nights, no energy, sucky attitude, no motivation, low self esteem, aches and pains yep that is bi-polar. After being diagnosed and going through a series of different medication - because each person is different and each medication works differently - the dosage kept getting more.

Now that in itself is not bad, however it is very expensive. The meds helped to a degree, got rid of most of the racey thoughts, curtailed the anger, gave me some deep sleep time, but it seems that it took away my ambition, my creativity, and my laughter.

So I now have a choice. To wean myself off of the meds, try to control the feelings - or stay on the meds and loose the real me. This is how I am feeling at the moment. Tomorrow I may feel a whole lot different. Who's to say?

Tags:

depression, bi-polar, mental health

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39 Comments // 19 Members

Milt T

Posted: Jun 10, 08 8:44am

You are setting up a false choice. If the real you is the racy, spacey, angry, cyclical, depressed, over-elated version then you are welcome to that one back but try living in the real world with it.

Meds do work but they are the darndest to get adjusted for a bi-polar disorder.

If you believe you can think your way out of a chemical disorder, you have a better chance of using mind control to prevent diarrhea.

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Scarecrow

Posted: Jun 10, 08 8:50am

Don't go off your meds. I did and it was not pretty. I can be a major a-hole. If that's the real me, I don't like what I see.

The meds keep me out of trouble and level-headed for the most part. Of course, there are good and bad days even with the meds, but the alternative is not an option for me.

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sfco

Posted: Jun 10, 08 10:53pm

I know what you feel like! The world against you,everyone is nasty

That's a big one. Going to bed now

sfco@ptd.net

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forum-starter

Posted: Jun 12, 08 3:55pm

What you describe sounds just like me. Maybe I'm bi-polar and getting medicated for depression. You'd think I would know being a social worker and all.

Situation of me is identical to yours. Currently on Cymbalta, sort of works but I'm worst off without it. I had tried Wellbutron and of course Prozac.

I AM A MAJOR A HOLE! To the point the my teenage girls don't want to be around me and my wife threads ever so lightly. Intellectually I know what is going on and that my erratic behavior is wrong. But somehow my feeling do not get the message. I have lost all interest in life, and feel like I'm doing time-just waiting for the end to come. I hate feeling like this and wish it would go away. I enjoyed life and would like to again.

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Scarecrow

Posted: Jun 12, 08 3:59pm

FS, have you tried therapy?

Maybe smoke some weed to calm yourself.

Works for me.

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sfco

Posted: Jun 12, 08 5:38pm

No matter what dont go off your medications!!!! They adjusted my meds for 3 years to get it right!Now that I am feeling better, the energy is coming back, I am laughing, I can sleep without the ambien if I see fit, it's a whole new world that opened up for me! Please, please, have your Dr. start taking away slowly. It's going to take some time--try to be patient!

sfco@ptd.net

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Bbycakys

Posted: Jun 16, 08 11:30am

Thanks for all your comments. I did wean my self from my meds, and after approximately 4 months noticed changes that I needed to get back on. The meds keep me sort of mellow in the anger and anxiety phases, however the meds have taken my personality away. Form said it better....I have lost interest in life, no creativity, no real laughter, I have lost a few jobs because of the the changes in attitude. I have been on my meds for three years, but I would like to have the "old" me back.

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