Read some of the other posts over the past 6 months on depression. You will find some good material. Rather than repeating what has already been said, it is there for you. In the meantime, hang on. Depression makes you think the end is near even if the sun is shining. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to look at your life from an outsider's perspective, not as the victim of a disorder. If people didn't know you are depressed, is there anything about your life they would admire or want to steal?

Sometimes, an outside perspective helps you deal with depression because if you won the billion dollar lottery, you might not have the energy to cash the ticket.

Hey, Dee . . . as alway, Milt speaks with great wisdom. I hope his words were helpful to you.

Any update? How are you today? When will you have the results back from your tests.

I don't know if you're a prayer person or not, but I am, and I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Hold on, don't give up. I know what you mean about feeling like maybe it's just time to 'go' (although I'm glad to hear you're not suicidal, my depression got to the suicidal point on many occasions). But don't let those thoughts consume you. Hold on.

Post an update when you can ~

OG

I'm kind of new to TBD, but I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I too have been diagnosed with depression. I took all the meds...they made me pretty much a zombie...non caring, etc. And I have been where you are now....not suicidal, but not caring if today was the day my card was pulled. I read that sometimes, depression, mood swings, and low or no energy can be signs of a B-12 deficiency. I have been taking B-12 and it has helped.

Dee.

I'm brand new here but just saw your post.

Thanks for sharing first of all. Then know that we are all holding you in our prayers and sending lots of cyber hugs to hold your hands thru each day.

Sometimes the Vastness of who we are contradicts the daily time/space reality. At those times, in those moments, tune into the Vastness of You more and smile as best you can into the darkness whilst holding your Guardian Angels hands....

Love, Blessings and Hugzzz,

Angela.

I shared my story of dealing with clinical depression in an earlier post, so I won't repeat it. But what you describe, Dee, is exactly where I was before I found the right meds for me. There are a lot of options and it can take time to find the drug and dosage that works. I know that some people are afraid of psychotropic meds, and others have had bad experiences, but they worked and continue to work for me.

For 30 years I was depressed most of the time. Rather than having good days and bad days, I just had OK days and bad days. It was terrible. And it only took one small additional stressful event to send me spiraling out of control. Sound familiar.

This is not someone that a depressed person can solve on their own, and in my case even extended visits to a shrink didn't help. I needed to fix the chemical imbalance in my body and the only thing that worked for me was drugs.

Don't give up Dee. I know that's easy to say, but I know from experience that if you keep looking, you will find something to ease your pain and help you lead a more normal, happy life.

Bud

i understand your pain and want you to know im hear to listen

I hope that responses like the one above help you to feel connected and cared for. Like many here I have had some pretty severe battles with depression. For me, having people listen was a very important part of my recovery. I hope you experience some degree of comfort knowing that we hear you and are here.