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Depression

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Group admin:: zookie
Created:: December 20, 2007
: 365 Members

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There's never a good time to talk about depression

Posted: Dec 20, 07 7:14am

But, the holidays seem to get the best of me. The only thing I do regarding the holidays is take the day(s) off from work. No celebrations or family gatherings.

Recently, I learned that a very good friend of mine will be moving on to another job and we wont see each other much, if at all. That has really sent me into a tail spin. I've been here at work for 3 hours with tears in my eyes the whole time.

I'm on meds, which is fortunate, or I'd be a basket case right now. Sometimes even the best medications can't suppress all the sad feelings - and that is when I really have problems.

Do any of you have any coping strategies or suggestions on how to live with depression when things just aren't all that bright and cheery for you?

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depression, holidays, medications

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41 Comments // 17 Members

hopelessromantic

Posted: Dec 20, 07 8:17pm

zookie wrote:

But, the holidays seem to get the best of me. The only thing I do regarding the holidays is take the day(s) off from wo...

I wish I could give you a hug. Let's pretend I'm giving you a hug right now, wiping your tears, and telling you that you are loved and appreciated. Things for you will improve.

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lostbf

Posted: Dec 21, 07 7:29pm

zookie wrote:

But, the holidays seem to get the best of me. The only thing I do regarding the holidays is take the day(s) off from wo...

Hi there. I have struggled with depression for years. I first realized that my sad feelings were called "clinical depression" when I was 28 years old. I sought out help from a professional. I think it was the best thing in the world for me. It actually takes a stronger person to seek out help and let people know that you have a problem with depression. We are great people and smart, strong, loving, and secure with who we are.

I have many talents and use them to get through the "down" times. Show off who you are and get into something that makes you feel you areworth something.

My slogan I live by is:

When you don't feel like doing something, that is when you should be doing it the most.

Depression puts a dark cloud around you, but you have to know behind that cloud there is really alot of sunshine. You just have to wait for that cloud to pass by. I always wanted to learn to play the violin. So I bought myself one and taught myself how to play. Now I enjoy playing and I am not really that good at it, but it makes me concentrate on learning. The split second of not thinking about being depressed has given me the strenghth to keep on dealing with it.

I use to be on medication for 13 years and was hospitalized for two weeks. I learned a great deal from my hospitalization.

I now am able to understand when someone says they are depressed. Helping others through their bouts with it helps me. What a great feeling it is to help others. Try it sometime. There are people out there who are depressed and you would never know it. "Fake it til you make it." It's okay. You are okay.

You are loved by people who understand. I do.

I have a job that requires me to encourage people and manage people. I find it very rewarding to know that I have made a difference in someone's life. When you are busy helping others then you don't have time to think about your depression. Keep yourself busy during your down times. Smile when you don't feel like it. It eventually becomes part of you. Cry if you want but then wipe the tears and get on with what you should be doing. It does work.!!!!!!!

Hi there. I have struggled with depression for years. I first realized that my sad feelings were called "clinical depression" when I was 28 years old. I sought out help from a professional. I think it was the best thing in the world for me. It actually takes a stronger person to seek out help and let people know that you have a problem with depression. We are great people and smart, strong, loving, and secure with who we are. I have many talents and use them to get through the "down" times. Show off who you are and get into something that makes you feel you areworth something. My slogan I live by is: When you don't feel like doing something, that is when you should be doing it the most. Depression puts a dark cloud around you, but you have to know behind that cloud there is really alot of sunshine. You just have to wait for that cloud to pass by. I always wanted to learn to play the violin. So I bought myself one and taught myself how to play. Now I enjoy playing and I am not really that good at it, but it makes me concentrate on learning. The split second of not thinking about being depressed has given me the strenghth to keep on dealing with it. I use to be on medication for 13 years and was hospitalized for two weeks. I learned a great deal from my hospitalization. I now am able to understand when someone says they are depressed. Helping others through their bouts with it helps me. What a great feeling it is to help others. Try it sometime. There are people out there who are depressed and you would never know it. "Fake it til you make it." It's okay. You are okay. You are loved by people who understand. I do. I have a job that requires me to encourage people and manage people. I find it very rewarding to know that I have made a difference in someone's life. When you are busy helping others then you don't have time to think about your depression. Keep yourself busy during your down times. Smile when you don't feel like it. It eventually becomes part of you. Cry if you want but then wipe the tears and get on with what you should be doing. It does work.!!!!!!!

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Posted: Dec 21, 07 7:29pm

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Hi there.  I have struggled with depression for years.  I first realized that my sad feelings were called "clinical depression" when I was 28 years old.  I sought out help from a professional.  I think it was the best thing in the world for me.  It actually takes a stronger person to seek out help and let people know that you have a problem with depression.  We are great people and smart, strong, loving, and secure with who we are.

I have many talents and use them to get through the "down" times.  Show off who you are and get into something that makes you feel you areworth something.

My slogan I live by is:
When you don't feel like doing something, that is when you should be doing it the most.

Depression puts a dark cloud around you, but you have to know behind that cloud there is really alot of sunshine.  You just have to wait for that cloud to pass by.  I always wanted to learn to play the violin.  So I bought myself one and taught myself how to play.  Now I enjoy playing and I am not really that good at it, but it makes me concentrate on learning.  The split second of not thinking about being depressed has given me the strenghth to keep on dealing with it.

I use to be on medication for 13 years and was hospitalized for two weeks.  I learned a great deal from my hospitalization.

I now am able to understand when someone says they are depressed.  Helping others through their bouts with it helps me.  What a great feeling it is to help others.  Try it sometime.  There are people out there who are depressed and you would never know it. "Fake it til you make it."  It's okay.  You are okay.
You are loved by people who understand.  I do.

I have a job that requires me to encourage people and manage people.  I find it very rewarding to know that I have made a difference in someone's life. When you are busy helping others then you don't have time to think about your depression. Keep yourself busy during your down times.  Smile when you don't feel like it.  It eventually becomes part of you.  Cry if you want but then wipe the tears and get on with what you should be doing.  It does work.!!!!!!!

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zookie

Posted: Dec 22, 07 6:22am

lostbf wrote:

Hi there. I have struggled with depression for years. I first realized that my sad feelings were called "clinical depr...

Just a quick comment - I'm taking violin lessons in January! What a coincidence! Is there something about the violin that is soothing to you? I have always wanted to learn to play it, and now is my time!

I'll write more later - I'm busy cleaning the house - yay, what fun! LOL Anyway, thank you for posting. I'll be back to comment on everyone's posts sometime later today.

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A.Y. Manus

Posted: Dec 24, 07 1:29pm

zookie wrote:

But, the holidays seem to get the best of me. The only thing I do regarding the holidays is take the day(s) off from wo...

I agree with hopelessromantic...that you should push yourself to do things even though you may not feel like it. Volunteering to serve food to less fortunate individuals at shelters (particularly on holidays) could be rewarding and put things into perspective. (I've never done this myself, but everyone I've ever heard talk about it has said it is a rewarding experience.)

I think I can understand some of what you're feeling. I've had a severe mental disorder that has caused major depressive episodes for too many of my 45 years. One characteristic of the disorder is that I am excruciatingly sensitive to abandonment (whether real or imagined). So, the types of feelings that have surfaced with your friend's departure are all too familiar to me.

I hope your house cleaning (and violin lessons) give you feelings of accomplishment that will help you make it through the holidays, and beyond. Regardless, we'll be here to share the good times and the bad.

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zookie

Posted: Dec 27, 07 7:56am

A.Y. Manus wrote:

I agree with hopelessromantic...that you should push yourself to do things even though you may not feel like it. Volunte...

The bulk of the house cleaning is done. At least what I needed to get done for Christmas. Next is the attic and my computer room. My husband told me yesterday that Walmart has large plastic containers to store things in - to which I replied - I am eliminating, not reorganizing! LOL

As for my friend, I think we are going to be able to see each other more often than I initially anticipated. I have a long commute to and from work, so my days are long. This makes it hard for me to see people often. My next door neighbor and I e-mail each other more than we see each other in person! But my friend and I are going to work on seeing each other often - and I hope we can.

Today is my friend's last day at the job near mine, so we are going to have a late lunch, some drinks, and I'm sure a few laughs. Last time we did this, I got the giggles and laughed all the way home on our commute - so I hope to keep the tears in check - unless they're associated with laughter! :)

This weekend, I am going to join a local gym. My membership with one near work is about to expire. Trying to go to the gym on my lunch hour is a hassle. Going to one near home will be easier and I'll have more time to work out. My clothes are starting to get tight, so I need to work out. And, when I work out, I am more aware of what I'm eating.

The violin lessons are going to be a test. I'm not sure how successful I will be. I am giving it a try with the idea that if I don't make it, I wont be upset. I just hope my teacher will have a sense of humor, because I know I will start laughing at myself over something silly - doing something wrong or a bad note. My luck, he'll be a stick in the mud! LOL

Losing friends, whether actual or perceived, is hard for me too. I even remember telling my friend not to "abandon" me. Its hard for me to make friends, let alone such a good one, so the fact that we're going to see each other fairly often makes me feel better. It will be different though, not seeing them everyday!

The bulk of the house cleaning is done. At least what I needed to get done for Christmas. Next is the attic and my computer room. My husband told me yesterday that Walmart has large plastic containers to store things in - to which I replied - I am eliminating, not reorganizing! LOL As for my friend, I think we are going to be able to see each other more often than I initially anticipated. I have a long commute to and from work, so my days are long. This makes it hard for me to see people often. My next door neighbor and I e-mail each other more than we see each other in person! But my friend and I are going to work on seeing each other often - and I hope we can. Today is my friend's last day at the job near mine, so we are going to have a late lunch, some drinks, and I'm sure a few laughs. Last time we did this, I got the giggles and laughed all the way home on our commute - so I hope to keep the tears in check - unless they're associated with laughter! :) This weekend, I am going to join a local gym. My membership with one near work is about to expire. Trying to go to the gym on my lunch hour is a hassle. Going to one near home will be easier and I'll have more time to work out. My clothes are starting to get tight, so I need to work out. And, when I work out, I am more aware of what I'm eating. The violin lessons are going to be a test. I'm not sure how successful I will be. I am giving it a try with the idea that if I don't make it, I wont be upset. I just hope my teacher will have a sense of humor, because I know I will start laughing at myself over something silly - doing something wrong or a bad note. My luck, he'll be a stick in the mud! LOL Losing friends, whether actual or perceived, is hard for me too. I even remember telling my friend not to "abandon" me. Its hard for me to make friends, let alone such a good one, so the fact that we're going to see each other fairly often makes me feel better. It will be different though, not seeing them everyday!

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Posted: Dec 27, 07 7:56am

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Comment

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The bulk of the house cleaning is done.  At least what I needed to get done for Christmas.  Next is the attic and my computer room.  My husband told me yesterday that Walmart has large plastic containers to store things in - to which I replied - I am eliminating, not reorganizing!  LOL

As for my friend, I think we are going to be able to see each other more often than I initially anticipated.  I have a long commute to and from work, so my days are long.  This makes it hard for me to see people often.  My next door neighbor and I e-mail each other more than we see each other in person!  But my friend and I are going to work on seeing each other often - and I hope we can.

Today is my friend's last day at the job near mine, so we are going to have a late lunch, some drinks, and I'm sure a few laughs.  Last time we did this, I got the giggles and laughed all the way home on our commute - so I hope to keep the tears in check - unless they're associated with laughter!  :)

This weekend, I am going to join a local gym.  My membership with one near work is about to expire.  Trying to go to the gym on my lunch hour is a hassle.  Going to one near home will be easier and I'll have more time to work out.  My clothes are starting to get tight, so I need to work out.  And, when I work out, I am more aware of what I'm eating.

The violin lessons are going to be a test.  I'm not sure how successful I will be.  I am giving it a try with the idea that if I don't make it, I wont be upset.  I just hope my teacher will have a sense of humor, because I know I will start laughing at myself over something silly - doing something wrong or a bad note.  My luck, he'll be a stick in the mud!  LOL

Losing friends, whether actual or perceived, is hard for me too.  I even remember telling my friend not to "abandon" me.  Its hard for me to make friends, let alone such a good one, so the fact that we're going to see each other fairly often makes me feel better.  It will be different though, not seeing them everyday!

Alert me when someone comments on this discussion.

Ruth

Posted: Dec 27, 07 11:12pm

zookie wrote:

But, the holidays seem to get the best of me. The only thing I do regarding the holidays is take the day(s) off from wo...

Depression is tough! I have been a primary family care giver for 16 straight years - brother and both parents with cancer. I still have two living siblings who live about 5 minutes away, but never call or even invite me to see their Christmas tree. Perhaps, I remind them of things they left undone, but I don't work at reminding them.

It's been four years since I lost my last immediate family member I did care for the total 16 years, every day. All alone now for the past four holiday seasons and it is not getting any easier.

The depression and loneliness is really starting to get to me.

I have tried three counselors and it was like whistling in the wind on some other planet. I guess you have to have done this to know the real feelings, and I am not alone in this dilemma.

Yesterday, I went to the mall and saw and older gentleman sitting on the benches by the fountain. He was facing away from the large fountain area, and I was beside him facing the fountain. I can spot loneliness now at 50 paces, so I started a conversation with him. He goes to different shopping malls each day to stave off the loneliness. We talked for about an hour.

His last words will haunt me and ring so true to me, "sometimes you get so lonely you think you are going crazy."

When I got up to go, I gave him a hug! His kids are busy and don't realize the pain he is in after caring for his wife.

How well I understand.

Don't really want to plunge into volunteer work. Need to take baby steps to regain my trust, or semi-trust, for people. I feel like I have been rode hard down the trail or like I am Humpty Dumpty, and don't know how to put myself back together again.

Today, I forced myself to really get some things done. That felt good. Just not able to tackle the big important things, which makes it very hard.

Take care.

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Posted: Dec 27, 07 11:12pm

Quote

Comment

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Depression is tough!  I have been a primary family care giver for 16 straight years - brother and both parents with cancer.  I still have two living siblings who live about 5 minutes away, but never call or even invite me to see their Christmas tree.  Perhaps, I remind them of things they left undone, but I don't work at reminding them.

It's been four years since I lost my last immediate family member I did care for the total 16 years, every day.  All alone now for the past four holiday seasons and it is not getting any easier.
The depression and loneliness is really starting to get to me.

I have tried three counselors and it was like whistling in the wind on some other planet.  I guess you have to have done this to know the real feelings, and I am not alone in this dilemma.

Yesterday, I went to the mall and saw and older gentleman sitting on the benches by the fountain.  He was facing away from the large fountain area, and I was beside him facing the fountain.  I can spot loneliness now at 50 paces, so I started a conversation with him.  He goes to different shopping malls each day to stave off the loneliness.  We talked for about an hour.

His last words will haunt me and ring so true to me, "sometimes you get so lonely you think you are going crazy."

When I got up to go, I gave him a hug!  His kids are busy and don't realize the pain he is in after caring for his wife.

How well I understand.

Don't really want to plunge into volunteer work.  Need to take baby steps to regain my trust, or semi-trust, for people.  I feel like I have been rode hard down the trail or like I am Humpty Dumpty, and don't know how to put myself back together again.

Today, I forced myself to really get some things done.  That felt good.  Just not able to tackle the big important things, which makes it very hard.

Take care.

Alert me when someone comments on this discussion.

A.Y. Manus

Posted: Dec 28, 07 9:15am

Ruth wrote:

Depression is tough! I have been a primary family care giver for 16 straight years - brother and both parents with canc...

Ruth (and zookie, in previous post):

I want to respond to your latest posts. I've been quite preoccupied and stressed (and come home tired and usually go to bed...right after I take care of my two fur babies). I'm in the middle of a legal [discrimination] complaint against my supervisor. This is based on my mental illness. (I'd performed my job well for 20 years...till she became my supervisor.) Now, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind some days.

Anyway, I do want to respond to the things that both of you have said...but I'm having difficulty focusing at the moment (as you can tell, I'm sure).

I'll write more when I can...and address your comments when I can focus and address them appropriately. I'm at work at the moment. Luckily, my supervisor has taken the day off...as most of the work force has (on this Friday following Christmas). Yippee!

I'm glad both of you--all of us, that is--made it through Christmas! I'm also thankful that we are here to support each other. (A huge "thank you" to zookie for starting this discussion.)

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