Ellen, is there a counselor or counseling service at the school? You say she's been in counseling - I'm sure she has and probably needs to continue especially if she is on meds. What I'm talking about, though, is someone who can focus on helping her cope with school and dorm life? They might be of some help. You may want to check with the housing department.

In many states, if your daughter signs a release, they can and will tell you things about her situation and treatment. Of course this assumes that your daughter is willing to sign such a release.

I can't imagine how hard this is for you and wish you luck in getting her the help she needs.

Ellen,I wonder,does she make friends quickly and then lose them just as quickly!? Thats one of the signs of bipolar.When manic everyone likes you because you are so much more fun to be around and appear to be very intelligent.Then comes the depression and its hard to relate to anyone because all you are doing is running people away.As Milt said on another post,depressive people are downers.Who wants to be around someone thats constantly sad.

If your daughter isnt feeling right in her head,then shes on the wrong medication and needs to see her doctor right away before it gets any worse.Because,there is help for this dreaded state.

Is she going to any groups,like emotions ananymous or recovery.If not I hope she will give it a try.It really helps to know you arent alone in this.

Thank you both for responding. Katie is seeing a counselor at school. Katie is a kid who is always at the counselor's. She doesn't make friends easy at all. Most people can't stand her. She has made a few friends at school. She is a lot for anyone to handle, she gets manic and it drives everyone away because she gets loud and says crazy things. Then she gets depressed and brings everyone down. She has only been at school for two months and she has had breakdowns in class already. She just starts crying over nothing or gets really loud and won't listen. I don't think she is on the right meds but she does. As far as signing a release, I doubt it, she does not like me involved at all.

Ellen, my daughter is 20 and is bipolar. She is on the right meds and now is able to find and keep friends - she couldn't in the past. I've had those same phone calls and still do when she decides to take a med vacation. All I can do is support her, and I ask if she is taking her meds.

I would suggest being supportive, and also telling her that the right meds might help the problem, but it is her choice about what she wants to do (which of course it is).

I think the hardest thing about having a child with MI is letting them go. Once they are adults they need to determine for themselves what choices they make about treatment and the consequences.

She may not be able to deal with college now - she's quite young and may need to learn to manage her illness first. But that's OK because college will always be there.

Mine has gotten better as she matured and as she experimented with taking her meds.

Yours may not be able to have a roommate - I might point out that in a sense she is choosing this, by not trying to stabilize her moods more (I know this is risky) and that if she really wants a roommate, experimenting with meds may be the way to go.

Anyway, good luck and feel free to send me a message of you want to discuss more privately. I truly empathize with how hard it is and wish you the best.

Thanks for your comments. You are right and that is what her therapist here had been trying to work on with her- how she drives people away. She knows tons of coping skills. I do hate seeing her upset though especially because her siblings are not very supportive of her at all. I did go see her tonight and she looks really good. She was in a good mood. Today she is coping okay who knows what tomorrow will bring.

First of all, is the school aware that she is in treatment for these disorders? If not, she should be advised that it is to her benefit to share it with the counseling department. One of the protections offered students is protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act so that is she has a bad period, she will be allowed to make up exams and take time out when it is the medical solution to a high pressure situation.

If she has Borderline Personality Disorder, and it is common with Bi-Polar Disorder, she will be difficult to live with but that doesn't mean she can't accomplish academically or in the workplace. She will need special understanding at times and the patience of a saint when she gets oppositional to someone close like a roommate. She may have to live alone and take her socialization in smaller doses.

I'm sure that even though you love her, it is a blessing to have her out of the house. I would recommend that you find a way to keep her out but close enough so she can still be part of all major family activities. As an adult, she probably will qualify for disability income if her disorders interfere with her ability to work. That will be determined later when she graduates (notice I said WHEN, not if). She is not academically disabled. The problem is in her perception of close relationships (borderline personality) and mood swings (bi-polar disorder).

Therapy can only do so much. It is medications that can keep the mood swings and any symptoms of ADD/ADHD under control.

Frankly, having multiple diagnoses may be a blessing because it will open doors for treatment, rehabilitation and money. Possibly even for education funded by the state and federal governments under Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation. Every state has one.

Tell her she is a hero just for getting into college and that her chemical imbalances and personality issues will make it more difficult for her but will only stop her if she surrenders to them. Tell her that the kids who moved out couldn't be expected to help her. They are in school to get a degree, not to learn to get along with her.

Can she live alone? When you don't have a roommate, you can't get rejected by one. School is about getting her degree - period. Help her understand that it takes years to learn how to get along with a stranger living in the same room. Most of the time, when that situation exists, they call it marriage! And half of them end in divorce without anyone having a diagnosed disorder.

Stay cool and don't allow her to pull you into the drama. Help her to allow the school to better understand her and she will get a few breaks if she needs them and doesn't try to take advantage.

When you say no one will tell you anything, if it is her therapist or psychiatrist, by law, they can't without her written consent. She is an adult and the fact that you still pay the bills does not create an exception since the inception of HIIPA, medical professionals, schools and others are paranoid about violations because it is grounds for both private lawsuits and public fines and licensure revocations.

You can still quietly manage your daughter's professional programs because even though they can't report to you, they can listen to anything you tell them.

I've worked with many young people with this combination of disorders and many of them come out as adults functioning, not perfectly, but well enough to hold a job. They do continue to have difficulty with relationships but difficulty doesn't mean impossibility. If people without legs can learn to walk, your lovely daughter can learn to fly! It is just that her flight patterns will be somewhat different from the average swan's.

God bless.

You have just described Katie perfectly. Academically she can function fine and if she falls behind, she bounces right back. Yes the school is aware. That is part of her problem, she makes everyone aware. When she was in high school she was in a special program called 504 which gave her extra time to complete her assignments and exams. She has something similar here and is working with the counselor at the school as well as seeing someone in that area. Thank you Milt. God Bless you too and have a great evening.