:) Funny! A great way to start the day off with a good laugh!

Michaek

"KITTY DICTIONARY"

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to practice playing dead, digging in the claws, and watching your human get frustrated.

CAT BED: any surface that would look better with a layer of cat hair.

DOG: Animal of little use to cats except to open/tip over garbage cans.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects cats when their human wants them to do something that only a human would even think a cat might want to do. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, licking paws, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by jumping on them, claws in full battle position. A good yowl adds to the effect. Watch your human squeal with appreciation at your thoughtfulness.

WASTEBASKET: This is a cat toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your human comes home.

SOFAS: Are to cats like emery boards are to humans. Gets those nails nice and sharp!

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. If you like pink water, use claws vigorously.

LEAP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, usually accompanied by food and goodies. The best way you can get your human to shower you with love (a.k.a., food and goodies) is to sit in their lap and purr.

FART: If the human does not shower you with food and goodies after you sit in the human's lap, try purring louder, and then fart - maybe the human fell asleep. If the louder purring does not wake them up, the fart probably will.

NEWSPAPER: A signal from the human that you are to jump onto their lap and practice paper shredding.

MAGAZINE: See Newspaper. BOOK: See Magazine.

DEAD RAT: Reward for the human who has showered you with food and goodies. Watch them shriek with delight when they discover your most generous gift.

What bad language? :-D

oh, man. this is so funny. LanSr, i think you should post as its own discussion (i.e. start a discussion from the home page). it's much too funny to be tucked back here in our little lolcat group!

LOL. I'm going to link to this from the Daily Scoop, and hopefully folks will come here directly too!

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one. "

Me, too", said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more.

"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.

"Me neither, let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun", said the second.

"OK" said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I love baskin' robins."

The "wakeup cat."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwqpHsMExg