I don't even know myself half the time--I don't think my own mother would know me for two weeks of the month. I swear, this moodiness is one of the "joys and surprises" of menopause I'd gladly do without!

Everything my husband says and does annoys the hell out of me, all the little habits, noises, quirks that I could overlook before are driving me insane! I know how cranky and irritable I am feeling--I can imagine how hard I am to live with!

How long does this part of menopause continue and do marriages actually survive it?

This is the time to find a temporary solution. Some take up a new form of stress release like meditation or swimming or hula hooping, something physical to do when you're feeling stressed. It's also time to explore chemical solutions - anything from mood elevators (for the time being) to tea drinking. Have SOMETHING to turn to when you feel the Inner Bitch taking over, even if it's a 15 minute time out.

There is a lot of support of there, from herbal solutions to birth control pills to hormone replacement therapy, as well as the lifestyle changes Isadora mentions. Black cohosh is an easy start.

There is no need to think this is something you have to live with.

See someone for a consultation.

As far as marriages surviving, mine lived through this, but it was hell and when I finally determined I needed help, I wished for the sake of my family I had done it a lot sooner.

Thanks, Isadora and Otter,

You had some helpful suggestions. I've been on Effexor for depression since my daughter died five+ years ago but I've been told that hormone replacement therapy is out because my mother had breast cancer which puts me at risk. This morning I called my psychiatrist and moved my appointment from this Friday to this morning--he is great about that. But he didn't really offer much help other than a listening ear. He says it all has to do with my relationship with my dad, abandonment, etc. Maybe that is true but that was all years ago--there must be something I can do NOW. I swear, I feel like two entirely different people sometimes and I hate myself when I get this way! And it isn't even time for my period so this isn't the "usual" PMS. I was in a swimming class last semester and haven't been getting regular exercise since it ended--maybe that is my first step as I felt better then. I need to get back to the gym. I'll check into the black cohosh--I don't even know what it is or what purpose it serves but if it is something that will help me to feel human again I am all for it!

Is what I am experiencing normal menopausal crap or am I really getting as psycho as I feel today?

There is lots of evidence that women who have a history of depression can be more affected by it during menopause. My "psycho" symptoms diminished significantly when I found a way to manage the hormones.

Try the black cohosh. Remember this link that you were on and Robin Miller's info?

http://www.tbd.com/group/244/discussion/50491/view

The black cohosh helps with mood swings, too.

I did go back to that other thread and read the info on black cohosh. Thanks for the reminder. I'll ask my doctor about mixing that with Effexor and if that would be a problem.

My marriage was terribly shaky (as anyone in TWG can attest) and part of it was perimenopausal mood swings, part of it was the marriage. We started going to a marriage class through the church (but there are a lot of ones not Christian-based as well.) The change is incredible. He understands, I understand. I do believe we might make it through this stuff, even with my hormones thrown in! So, take the supplements (black cohosh, evening primrose, soy, etc....check the internet for some great ideas) and maybe take a class. Things here are definitely more peaceful and most welcome by all of us.