I thought your writing is highly skilled and dramatic, and weaves a complex story given the brevity of the piece. It was quite shocking, especially contrasting the great violence inflicted upon the girl, amid the beauty of her surroundings and, later, her horse.

I'm quite unsure of the meaning of "thundercloud" eyes, especially as the context seems to a imply romantic, attractive feature. Is it deeply brooding?

The only phrase I was not sold on was "field mice to say last rites". I can see that, maybe, after his death. But, before, I'm uncertain of it's strength.

Lovely job. You are very good.

Kat- in this story are strong language and vivid images. So spare, almost a poem.

Not to be too corny, quoting the adage "there's something about the outside of the horse that is good for the inside of a human." (It's true, though; there's something honest about an animal friend that heals you).

It's a good story. It resonates.

@

if you must partake in a petite VAT of sauvignon blanc, it better be in celebration, my friend. you are a wonderful writer and it shows in everything you put out there. who would have thunk that 250 words could convey so much hope, violence, loss, anger, life...

"make myself steel, a knife. If he touches me I'll slide between his ribs"

I love these lines; they describe beautifully the desire (and fantasy) we have to be able to defend ourselves.

I'm floored. What in hell made the cut, if this dramatic and spare story didn't?

You're getting some good plaudits here, and rightfully so. Perhaps the subject matter was too hard for this competition, the confines of which make it appear as no more than a technical exercise.

Dont drown your sorrows too deeply. I'm rather suspicious of literary competitions. Milt T has given them the thumbs up elsewhere on this forum, but I still think they do more harm than good. There are so many vested interests out there, so much focus groupery, so many social fashions that get in the way of true appraisal. Of course a competition winner will find his or her profile raised, but only at the cost of the judges getting to levy their own tastes (and perhaps prejudices) on the wider world of writing. The winning of awards has now (at the very top level) become so entrenched in product marketing that it is sometimes plain to see when a writer or a movie maker has 'gone' for a gong - conforming to the forms and fashions that define the current niceties of artistic judgment.

Sorry for the rant.

Your story touched and entertained me even the fourth time I read it.