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Group admin:: akabukowski
Created:: December 31, 2007
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A Bit On True Love

Posted: May 20, 08 8:27am

Hello. I am new to this group; a little birdie flew into my computer screen and told me I should post this bit up here for reviewing. I love writing, and I don't necessarily write stories. I write all kinds of things, from poetry to fantasy stories to just sitting down to write a long drawn out opinion on things. This happens to be my view on true love. I also have a view on life; but I wrote it a while back when I was really depressed. If I get some good feedback for this I might post up the life one...

"First off, I would like to say that even though I am young and most of you will say I don't know what love is, this is MY VIEW on love. It is what I feel and know. It is my opinion.

You can love your family, a deep strong love that lasts until the day you die. That is only, of course, if the bond was formed correctly. You can love your friends. You can tell them your deepest secrets and a true friend would love you as a family member would, and would never judge you. You can love your pet. This is perhaps the easiest form of love for a person to form. Animals are innocent and loyal to their caregiver. Animals, if taken care of correctly, will trust and always obey you. They are always there for you, even when it feels like you're all alone.

Love has no boundaries, and has many different levels and forms. It has different strengths, but true love has no weakness. Love is not cruel, but the people involved with it can be. Love has no true defnition. Love is more than just a word. Love is plastered with a bad name by its more physical counterpart, lust. Only the wise can tell the difference. Love can make you do crazy things, or just turn you crazy in general. True love is deeper than flesh and bone. It lies right within the very center of your core and being.

I believe true love is...

When you get butterflies in your stomach at the touch of his hand. When the right words for the moment do not require effort or concentration, they just come naturally. When every song you hear, no matter how happy or sad it is, makes you think of him. When you can't stop smiling when you're around him. When you're no longer afraid of what he'll see when he looks into your eyes. When you don't care what happens in the future, as long as he is a part of it. When it doesn't matter if you're out for dinner or at home watching a movie, you just want to be near him. When no other guy but him exists in your mind. When your heart is so full and satisfied it could burst.

It is when you can truly forgive and forget anything he ever does wrong. It is when if you ever fight or argue, you always work it out and come out on top.When it doesn't matter where he is going or where he has been, because he is with you now. Its when you know you can always count on him. Its when you're in his arms, you feel completely and totally safe and secure. Its when every kiss sets fire to your heart and leaves you breathless. Its when everything he does, no matter if you've seen or heard it before, amazes you. Its when you know its not always going to be absolutely perfect, but you're willing to fight to keep it that way at all costs. Its when you're not attaracted in the least bit to anyone but him.

If you truly love someone you will never be embarrased of them. You will not keep them in the closet. You will show them off and take any opportunity to talk about them. You will want everyone to think they are as amazing as you think they are. Tue love is when no matter what it is you don't like about them, you would never want them to change who they are. True love may scare you, but if you're smart you will not run from it.

True love never leaves you wanting for more, unless of course it is more time, kisses, and affection. True love is so strong it can bring even the most composed people to their knees and make them cry. True love is so beautiful and wonderful it breaks your heart and soothes it all at the same time. If you truly love someone you will never take them for granted. You will never forget about them. You will never wish harm or ill will against them.

If you truly love someone you can be yourself around them, you can tell them anything and everything on your mind. Ture love does not keep secrets. True love will turn you into a precarious person, eager to please and be perfect for them. True love will leave you wondering what you did to deserve such a wonderful gift. It will make you wonder whether or not this person is really an angel from above. True love will steal your heart, and when you get a person's heart in return you will hold it as if it is the most precious thing in the world.

Most importantly, you do not find true love, it finds you."

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Relationships, love, life

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1 Comment // 2 Members

Milt T

Posted: May 20, 08 10:09am

Renaissance wrote:

Hello. I am new to this group; a little birdie flew into my computer screen and told me I should post this bit up here f...

An essay on love. A thought piece. A personal viewpoint. A form of writing that expresses an inner truth. A most difficult kind of writing because when shared with writers, many of them will look at the opinions instead of the way it is written. That is a difficult separation to make but one of the reasons I am posting is to remind myself and others who critique that the form serving the function is what is open to critique and not whether the opinion agrees with "mine" about the essence of love.

First an overall impression. You know how to choose and use words. At no time did you do what many people do when they are writing fact/opinion - end a particular argument with "and so forth." What you believe, you state and that is the key to essay writing on a topic.

You write from the heart and use feeling words. This is a piece that you seem to be writing to support your belief rather than a scientific argument with quotes from "experts" that validates you. You write strong prose with no need to use what others have said about love.

Your vocabulary is rich and I do not get the feeling that you had to stretch to find the words you were looking for. I wish I could say that about myself!

Okay, how about a few critical comments to demonstrate that you didn't pay me to write this ...

Your first paragraph needs to be changed. Never apologize in advance for things like age. Writers write. Whether you are fifteen or fifty, your opinion is based on your experience and you state that clearly - "this is how I feel." Open by jumping into your topic. If someone wants to use your age as an excuse not to listen to you, that is his or her problem, not yours.

This is a tiny nit. Don't put quote marks around a whole story. Instead, set it off with a line of ************** above it. ------------------ works just as well.

"and a true friend would love you as a family member would, and would never judge you" ***** Rethink the wording in this sentence. Too many "woulds." See if you can write it either without all the woulds or substitute for some of them. Read it aloud to see how all the woulds impact the reader.

I loved how you used stong verbs and nouns like breathless, butterflies, touch in stead of weaker adjectives and adverbs and rarely used weak verbs like was - except when establishing a timeline. You either read a whole lot or you had an 11th grade English teacher who inculcated you with a love of language.

Ture love does not keep secrets -- typo = TRUE.

Loved your ending. "Most importantly, you do not find true love, it finds you." However, I would ask you to consider a slight alteration to make it what I think is more powerful. Drop the intro - "most importantly" says nothing and the adverb importantly weakens what follows. Just say it. You don't find love; love finds you. The word LOVE is so important, that in this context, I believe it bears repeating.

Keep on writing and posting. I'd love to see how you react to the writing of others as well. Your wording says that you have an ear for writing so when you read the works of others, that same skill will allow you to comment on what others are doing.

Don't think of yourself as young. You simply haven't had time yet to express all you know!

Bird is a word ...

An essay on love. A thought piece. A personal viewpoint. A form of writing that expresses an inner truth. A most difficult kind of writing because when shared with writers, many of them will look at the opinions instead of the way it is written. That is a difficult separation to make but one of the reasons I am posting is to remind myself and others who critique that the form serving the function is what is open to critique and not whether the opinion agrees with "mine" about the essence of love. First an overall impression. You know how to choose and use words. At no time did you do what many people do when they are writing fact/opinion - end a particular argument with "and so forth." What you believe, you state and that is the key to essay writing on a topic. You write from the heart and use feeling words. This is a piece that you seem to be writing to support your belief rather than a scientific argument with quotes from "experts" that validates you. You write strong prose with no need to use what others have said about love. Your vocabulary is rich and I do not get the feeling that you had to stretch to find the words you were looking for. I wish I could say that about myself! Okay, how about a few critical comments to demonstrate that you didn't pay me to write this ... Your first paragraph needs to be changed. Never apologize in advance for things like age. Writers write. Whether you are fifteen or fifty, your opinion is based on your experience and you state that clearly - "this is how I feel." Open by jumping into your topic. If someone wants to use your age as an excuse not to listen to you, that is his or her problem, not yours. This is a tiny nit. Don't put quote marks around a whole story. Instead, set it off with a line of ************** above it. ------------------ works just as well. "and a true friend would love you as a family member would, and would never judge you" ***** Rethink the wording in this sentence. Too many "woulds." See if you can write it either without all the woulds or substitute for some of them. Read it aloud to see how all the woulds impact the reader. I loved how you used stong verbs and nouns like breathless, butterflies, touch in stead of weaker adjectives and adverbs and rarely used weak verbs like was - except when establishing a timeline. You either read a whole lot or you had an 11th grade English teacher who inculcated you with a love of language. Ture love does not keep secrets -- typo = TRUE. Loved your ending. "Most importantly, you do not find true love, it finds you." However, I would ask you to consider a slight alteration to make it what I think is more powerful. Drop the intro - "most importantly" says nothing and the adverb importantly weakens what follows. Just say it. You don't find love; love finds you. The word LOVE is so important, that in this context, I believe it bears repeating. Keep on writing and posting. I'd love to see how you react to the writing of others as well. Your wording says that you have an ear for writing so when you read the works of others, that same skill will allow you to comment on what others are doing. Don't think of yourself as young. You simply haven't had time yet to express all you know! Bird is a word ...

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Posted: May 20, 08 10:09am

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An essay on love.  A thought piece.  A personal viewpoint.  A form of writing that expresses an inner truth.  A most difficult kind of writing because when shared with writers, many of them will look at the opinions instead of the way it is written.  That is a difficult separation to make but one of the reasons I am posting is to remind myself and others who critique that the form serving the function is what is open to critique and not whether the opinion agrees with "mine" about the essence of love.

First an overall impression.  You know how to choose and use words.  At no time did you do what many people do when they are writing fact/opinion - end a particular argument with "and so forth."  What you believe, you state and that is the key to essay writing on a topic.

You write from the heart and use feeling words.  This is a piece that you seem to be writing to support your belief rather than a scientific argument with quotes from "experts" that validates you.  You write strong prose with no need to use what others have said about love.

Your vocabulary is rich and I do not get the feeling that you had to stretch to find the words you were looking for.  I wish I could say that about myself!

Okay, how about a few critical comments to demonstrate that you didn't pay me to write this ...

Your first paragraph needs to be changed.  Never apologize in advance for things like age.  Writers write.  Whether you are fifteen or fifty, your opinion is based on your experience and you state that clearly - "this is how I feel."  Open by jumping into your topic.  If someone wants to use your age as an excuse not to listen to you, that is his or her problem, not yours.

This is a tiny nit.  Don't put quote marks around a whole story.  Instead, set it off with a line of ************** above it. ------------------ works just as well.

"and a true friend would love you as a family member would, and would never judge you"   ***** Rethink the wording in this sentence.  Too many "woulds."  See if you can write it either without all the woulds or substitute for some of them.  Read it aloud to see how all the woulds impact the reader.

I loved how you used stong verbs and nouns like breathless, butterflies, touch in stead of weaker adjectives and adverbs and rarely used weak verbs like was - except when establishing a timeline.  You either read a whole lot or you had an 11th grade English teacher who inculcated you with a love of language.

Ture love does not keep secrets -- typo = TRUE.

Loved your ending.  "Most importantly, you do not find true love, it finds you."  However, I would ask you to consider a slight alteration to make it what I think is more powerful.  Drop the intro - "most importantly" says nothing and the adverb importantly weakens what follows.  Just say it.  You don't find love; love finds you.  The word LOVE is so important, that in this context, I believe it bears repeating.

Keep on writing and posting.  I'd love to see how you react to the writing of others as well.  Your wording says that you have an ear for writing so when you read the works of others, that same skill will allow you to comment on what others are doing.

Don't think of yourself as young.  You simply haven't had time yet to express all you know!

Bird is a word ...

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