Posted: Jun 8, 08 5:07pm
The Exquisite Slips And Slides Of Life: Hands On Parenting
You take his hand as he toddles across the living room. You take his hand as he walks across the street. And then one day his backpack is strapped over his shoulders and he slips his hand from your grasp and he walks through the playground toward the door. Your heart shatters. You remind yourself that you're on view and you gather your tears as you inhale and you slide into your car and you leave the lot.
And then one day you're walking and he silently slides his fingers into your hand and your knees buckle with the gratitude that he hasn't forgotten who you are and he remembers what he means to you. And your heart breaks. You remind yourself that you're on view and you gather your tears as you gently grasp his hand. And you exhale in the moment of the exquisite peace.
You take his duffel from his hand as you wait for the announcement of the flight. He's not holding his favorite stick. He's not holding a fistful of his brother's hair. He's not holding a baseball bat. He's not holding a fishing rod. And you reel with the knowledge that soon he'll be holding a gun. And you hold him tight without a care of the view or the cost of the tears. A shake of his hand and a kiss on his cheek is all you'll have to hold.
He tells you of his duty and you remind yourself of your duty. You dutifully wish him farewell. You watch him slip out of your sight as he slides out of your life. You silently scream as you walk out of the door of the terminal. You tremble as you fumble for your keys. You slide into the seat. The sadness crushes your lungs and you experience a grief that no man should have to endure. But you endure. You haven't any other option. You promised him you would the first time she slipped him into your arms.
