I understand your confusion as I know it is the most difficult thing in the world being a spouse to a true bipolar.

There will be lots of behavior that will come out of the blue. That is "normal" for a bipolar. You must take care of your mental well being first to be able to help your spouse. It is not easy. Counseling can help but I have found there is no way for mental health professionals to really know what we have to deal with sometime.

Make sure the meds are taken and that a Doctor is in charge if the care. Document everything and please know you are not alone.

I wish I could say more but I know the pain.

Thank You for your comment, I have not gotten back on the sight due to trying to deal with all this. I did however find out that my husband had taken himself off his meds completely. He has now been off them for over two weeks and seems actually better? i am concerned long term about what will happen. He says that the meds quit working sever months ago and slowly he started feeling terrible. I can not make him take them nor will I try I actually have to say he seems like his old self that i originally met and love. I also told him regardless we will ride out this storm together and I will be here for him. He assures me that everything that occured had nothing to do with me and he loves me as much as ever.Does all this seem normal? Do you think I am handling it well?

This is typical of a bipolar manic episode... the sexual tension is so great within him, and he probably feels that you would not understand, it is easier to go online and find the porn and masturbate and fantasize. I for one do it and find no harm is done to my relationship... it takes the burden off her in a way.

What I am trying to say is this is "natural" and safer than the other alternatives to acting out such as having and affair or fling. Which is safer for you?

It is not infidelity... it is an effort to self-medicate with porn.Does this make sense?

beaux

My husband was in denial for a long time but knew he was changing. He finally left home and has not fared well. We are divorced which I had to go through with to protect my share of our assets. He spent wildly, got 5 tattoos, earrings and has been hospitalized twice. This was the total opposite of the man I was married to for 35 years and together with since I was 19. He avoids talking to our children and has just about ignored our grandson. He just seeks solace from people that are beneath him and tell him what he wants to hear. I still love him (or the man he was) but need to move on with my life. Mental illness and the medications are very tricky. See if you can get him to a reputable doctor and therapist. Medication is worthless without therapy. Good luck

I am married to a schizo-affective wife who faithfully takes her medicine. If she didn't, we would not be together.

It sounds like the medicine is not working, but he should be on something. Right now, he feels fine, but one depressing or stressful incident could send him the other way. You have to set limits, which includes taking medicine and seeing a doctor. If he doesn't, you need to look out for yourself and your family.

Dear upset....I can relate to what you are going through but not because it is happening to me but because I am the bipolar one I have my depressive days where I stay in bed all the time anad then I have my manic side that I have extreme energy. I take 200mg of Lamictal twice a day, 1200mg of Seroquel daily,xanax 2mg four times a day,tegretol 200mg three times a day ans there are a couple of others I take a total of 15 pills at night. I was diagnosed in 1998 when I tried to kill myself. Now my doctors require monthly blood work to make sure that the medication level's are not at a toxic level...There is ways to get him the help without him really knowing it. that is why i have my monthly blood work drawn don't worry there are still things that can be done to help him just don;t give up on him because it could send him over the edge.hang tight and write to me anttime I am here and listen real well. I have plenty of years of expirience

Dear friends, thanks God I had find you. My husband are in denial for a long time and I am going through nightmares trying to figure out how to handle this. He, like in "Upset" case changed from loving me to death, hating me, he become my worsest enemy. At my gentle remainder to see a doctor, and consider medications, he yell that I am dangerous to him! ( I suspect he is afraid to be locked up), I received numerous threats from him. He also has hording problems, I submerged myself in his environment trying to help, I almost died with my soul, mind and body. I feel how dangerous that situation for me, I am afraid I will loose my mind. He dont trust me, that I love him, and care about him..he is very cruel to me. He has lots anger issues out of blue..and so intense How to handle this?