My wife was diagnosed as Schizophrenic, right after the birth of our first child. Her Jekyll & Hyde condition prevailed off and on for our entire 45 years of marriage. I never loved any one more when she was right and I honestly hated her other self when she was off. Phsychiatrists, 3 month hospitalizations, thorazine and many other medications, you name it, I lived it with her. A new approach by a different young Doctor, got her on a medication called "lithium". She recovered almost instantly and it was a miracle to me. I honestly feel your pain but don't give up hope, new improvements in mental health treatments are continuing to be made. Don't get stuck too long on any one Doctor, 2nd & 3rd opinions are always in order. Your wife is precious, I am convinced that her affliction has to do with a chemical imbalance. Someone out there has the right solution, keep looking and I wish you the best.

You don't say if she's in therapy. If she isn't, I urge you to encourage her to work with professionals, ideally talking with a psychotherapist and getting medication from a psychiatrist (with the two of them talking to each other about her). I've known 2 bi-polar people who feel into deep depressions and committed suicide. Your wife is at real risk here. If she isn't working with professionals, do whatever it takes to make that happen.

For the sake of the children if not for the marriage she needs to get professional help. With proper meds she can be fully functioning. Insist that she see a psychiatrist.

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She is all for seeking therapy, unfortantely finances being as they are it is a challenge so nothing to date. She doesn't want to become reliant on prescribed drugs and is convinced that it can be controled by healthy diet and lifestyle. I know the more stress she is under the more pronounced the symptoms. I don't know what to think about the suicide aspect. She has admited to me that she has tried many many years ago. She hasn't said the magic words yet (the declaration of killing oneself) but she has hinted sometimes. However I think that as long as the children need her she will not do this to the kids. And she has not gone through those stages, that is declaration, and then the calm before the storm, where she is confortable with that decision. So with that in mind I really feel that suicide is not on her mind.

I really feel that her type of bi-polar is rather mild, however I also wonder if I am too close to the situation to have an unbiased view.

Micheal, I really do appreciate your thoughts and concerns. Thank you.

I am concerned a bit about the children. She has never been physically abusive and mentallly abusive is harder to define. My mother used to yell at me and I seem to turn out fine (how do you self analyze yourself). But sometimes I think she goes over the top with the yelling. There is nothing I can do at those time, no 'take a break' or 'time out's'. We talk about it maybe a day or two later.

I often wonder if I am too close to the situation to be objective. I sometimes feel like that frog in those experiments where they gradually raise the tempurture of the water, the frog gets acclimitized to the point where it doesn't jump out even when the water is boiling.

Thank you Isadora for your concern.

I am concerned about enabling. I don’t know if what I do is helping or enabling a behavior. I guess I need counseling also. She is very intelligent and when she is “balanced” she is very receptive of our talks. However that becomes challenging as these talks often fuel her depressions.

I have read up a little bit on bi-polar and it is not an easy illness to diagnose. The medical profession is not in agreement with it and seems to have it divided up into two or three categories with subcategories in each. In some cases it seems that bi-polar is more of a symptom than the disease. In her case she also has hypoglycemia and hypotension.

Thanks, Otter, for the advise.