There is nothing wrong with you... its hard to believe that you can enjoy another man's companionship. I too had a wonderful life with my husband, we did everything together and yes he was the only one that new the really me. You are not doing anything wrong by living your life. Your husband knew you, he knew that you will always love him and he probably knew that you will keep living because of your strong spirit. I think he would be sad right now that you are going through this anguish. That being said... really what are you doing? You are having fun meeting new people. Take it slow and only do what your heart will permit you. You will know when things are right. When I met Mark, I was up front- not interested in any emotional ties, just enjoy having a good time doing the things we like doing together. Over time this also changed, I was able to open up my heart. I guess what I am trying to say is that if the person knows where you are at, it is not unfair to them. He will see your beautiful fun loving spirit and embrace your friendship.

Thanks maggieh. I needed to hear that today. I just cant seem to get past that bad feeling in my gut when I talk to another man. Maybe I am just not ready yet, and I didnt want to admit it. The emotions really side swiped me. In reality I know you are right. In reality I know he is never coming back. In reality I know he would want me to be happy. How do I get rid of this awful sad feeling. I am wondering if it is that this step was the reality to me, that he is gone. I know that sounds silly. He died 2yrs ago. I thought I had dealt with all of that. But down deep could I just now , be acknowledging it to my deeper self? Is that why I feel so sad again,all of the sudden. Or is this good event making me remember how good it felt to have my husband in my life. Man , I need some counseling. And I am sure not going to drag another person into my minds mess. I guess we can really fool ourselves into thinking we are doing just fine. But today has been a really bad day. A very tearful one. I am sure it will pass, but just had to talk to someone that knew , losing a mate. I hope I can be happy again one day like you and Mark....Thanks for your support. Donna

I agree with maggieh... there is nothing wrong with you. you didn't mention how long it was since your husband passed away... but a friend who lost her husband after 40 years of marriage said it took her a good 5 years to really feel good about new friendships again.

I think we are passed the age where you need to keep secrets from someone you're interested in. be honest with your new friend and tell him where you're at.

and finally, I just want to say to you that I think you are so brave and inspiring. you have suffered a great loss and to be able to keep moving is the key to finding happiness again.

Thanks Lora May, but it is not brave, it is survival. He has been gone 2 yrs. Thanks for caring. I do appreciate it.

I honestly don't think we are ever going to get over the loss. Every new experience will bring on the loss. As the experience becomes more familiar our coping increases.

Have your tearful day or two if you need it. You will feel better. I had one on Friday, I feel that after its over I am able to put things in a better perspective. I think this is our life now- accepting those teary days and moving baby steps forward.

Take care of yourself Donna- we are here for you.

Maggie

You are so right, but I have met many people in my lifetime who have shut down after a loss (not only from a death) and somehow decided that it's okay to just be alive... your member name is what inspires me: happywmylife.

I can't imagine what it's like.But you know your husband would want you happy.

I'll keep you in my thoughts...