Thanks very much, lcord, for sharing your feelings regarding the sad passing of your dear husband three years ago. The fact that your strong faith, friends, family, the memorable dedication of ball fields in his name, and the compassionate organ donor giving, really has helped you work through this difficult process.

You are right, one never really completely gets over such losses. Much appreciation, also, for the heartfelt organ donor words, I made a copy. Sending wishes for your continued peace and blessings.

I hope that you will be able to find some joy in your life.

after your loss!

Right now i am not longer waiting for my husband to come home since he has passed away 1 year ago.

It may sound strange to you but I have been waiting for him to come home. From time to time I talk to him, I cry, I clutch his picture and reread his love letter written to me almost 3 decades ago. I know that he wants me to be happy but at this point of my life I do not know how to do it. I hope that you will find strength and happiness and be able to rebuild your life.

Icord, Magda, Southerl, .....There are a lot of us out here that understand what you are going through. Only time heals. I dont think we ever get over our losses, but we can move past it, and still never forget. Dont forget that life is meant to live. Dont stop doing that. Life is too short, and we must all keep living. The really sad thing here would have been had we never met and been able to share such a life with our loved ones. I am so grateful for the love I shared with my dear husband for 41 years, and I do not want to forget him or his zest for life. My heartfelt sympathy for you all. believe me , I am sharing all your feelings with you. Donna

hi Lora Ma,

I like your thoulght process.You're a clear headed,rational thinker.your approach to life is practical and pragmatic,have a good day

I lost my husband 3 years ago and can tell you that I still expect him to walk through the door at 6pm. i don't think that expectation ever goes away. i still talk to him, cry and read his cards and letters over and over. the lonliness is unbearable, no matter who I am with or what I am doing, i still feel totally alone. You are in the beginning stages of grief, which are raw and so painful. My heart goes out to you. How do we find happiness at this stage in our lives?

This is a story of my journey that led to the reason why my book Special Dream was written.

In 1994 my husband Michael died suddenly when he was 43 years old, following gallbladder surgery. He knew he needed his gallbladder out, but like most men he didn’t want to go see a doctor, go to the hospital or interrupt his busy work schedule for surgery, until of course it became an emergency and he had no choice. Mike was a pretty tough guy and could tolerate high amounts of pain or discomfort. He was also the type of guy who hardly ever took medicine, even a Tylenol because he was always very healthy. The surgery itself was a success, but during the process he received too much anesthesia which resulted in Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome, or ARDS and that is what killed him.

Over the next forty-eight hours we frantically looked for anything to reverse the damage to his lungs, but there was nothing we could do and soon the doctors put him back into a drug induced coma where he lingered for several days until his heart gave out. It is a very sad story about the demise of a wonderful man and to repeat it, even now, is hard but time does heal our wounds and I have reached a point where I can share it now without crying.

Shortly after the funeral I was at home sleeping in my bed when I suddenly saw him standing on the left side of the bed. It was very real and it did not feel like a dream or anything I had ever experienced before. He looked right at me and was beaming with happiness. I knew he wanted to tell me something, something important, but I was angry at him for dying, so with my mind, I told him to “just go away,” and in a blink he was gone.

I didn’t spend much time reflecting on this strange dream, because I was too busy dealing with a high level of stress and problems steming from his sudden death. Our two sons were only ten and eight-years-old at the time and were in shock over the death of their father.

My family and in-laws were all grieving and while everyone grieves differently it was my one sister-in-law who was taking his death the hardest. I remember it seemed like nothing or no one could console her.

A couple days after I had my dream my sister-in-law called me from her home in Michigan and said she just had a dream about Mike and he appeared to her and she talked to him in the dream. She told me he said everything would be okay and that he didn’t want to leave us but not to worry.

I was amazed not so much at her story, but at the sound of her voice! She sounded fine, even happy and excited.

Over the next ten years I searched through dream books that would identify this type of experience, but discovered there wasn’t anything written on it this type of dream and it didn’t even have a name.

All the dream books I found covered the “meaning of dreams” the “interpretation of dreams” how to have “lucid dreams” or how to “remember your dreams”. There was nothing to “identify” this particular type of dream experience.

Then I moved my search into psychology books with the topic of dreams along with medical books on death and the meaning of death, and also researched spiritual books, including the bible. I searched the internet to find anything I could that would help me figure out what this dream experience was, yet I could not find a single concrete answer.

In 2006 and twelve years after Mike’s death, the idea of writing a book explaining this dream experience came to me. I didn’t care if anyone thought I was crazy, because I knew what I had seen, and this dream experience is one that you never forget.

During the next fifteen months I collected over 300 dream stories and the book Special Dream has 120 stories.

If you've had a Special Dream, you are not crazy, about 3% of the population experience this. Native Americans believe that after someone dies they come back to a member of the family to let the whole family know they are okay. And now I believe this too.