I wish I had something to tell you. I would love to have great words of advice. But I don't. I did, however, have a very recent scare of losing my own brother, so I have a level of understanding how difficult this is for you. All I can say is the actual loss of your brother will be terribly hard, but his suffering will be over. That doesn't ease the pain of YOUR suffering by much, but it is something that you can be thankful for when the time comes. Until then try not to leave anything unsaid . . . you truly never know when someone will pass . . . this is true of every day life, also. So NEVER leave anything unsaid.

Beyond that, feel free to come here to vent, cry, curse the situation, scream at God . . . whatever it takes to ease a bit of your pain.

I will pray for you and your brother ~

Thank you so much for caring to respond to me. I guess I didn't want answers, just some one to vent to, to cry to, to lean on on some way. I was about to leave this site, thinking, no one cared. Everybody only wanted happy thoughts, not this down depressing stuff. I need a place to go and talk to someone, not just my self. I do that enough. So Thank You ordinarygirl. I don't feel quite so alone.

Sharon, there is no easy way to experience the death of a loved one. I took care of my mother as she was dying of cancer and I was the one who could not accept that her death was inevitable. To this day I feel bad that I made it more difficult for her by being in denial. It made it hard for her to talk about it and face her fears.

There are a lot of support groups, many sponsored and held at local hospitals. You might want to check into what is available near you. I found it to be very helpful after my mother died and even more so after my daughter died four years later.

And there are many of us here who are more than willing to listen, share what our own experiences have been and try to help and support you through your hard times. You'll find a great support system here.

Hi, sharon, I really do feel for you, having to watch your dear brother slip away. It can be one of the loneliest, most difficult things to have to endure.

I,too, had to stand back, so helplessly, and watch my youngest brother pass from laryngeal cancer, just a few mos. after he turned 40. It was absolutely excruciating, especially since he couldn't speak to me his final year, and could only write on a slate, and had to be fed through an abdominal feeding tube. The ONLY thing that got him, and me through it, was, he found God again. When he could still walk and talk easily, he started visiting a little neighborhood church. They actually, "adopted" him, and were even holding the mens' Sunday School class in his apt.! The last time that I saw him, right before he passed, he was comatose, but I read his favorite Bible verses, the Lord's Prayer, and the 23rd Psalm, and I believe, to this day, that he could hear me. I still see him, in my dreams, sometimes. He is often playing his much-loved guitar, and happy,and it gives me much comfort.

Check out the many tbd threads on death, that I will list, below, as many others have experienced loss, and have written very inspiring words:

An Inspiration of Reading in Death

Dealing With It Day by Day

Lost Loved Ones

My Sweet Baby Ivy

When I Hear That Song

My Husband's Death

Speaking of Death

What About An Afterlife?

Sharon, I hope that you will try to stay strong, and focus on all of your brother's loving qualities, and your fondest memories with him, to help you get through this sad journey. Please continue to check in with us here, we do care about you.

Dear Sharon,

I have lost my brother 26 yrs ago in a sudden accident. It was fast and I had no time to tell him how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him. We were very close in age and best friends.

I still miss him and I guess I always will. I recently lost my Mother, she passed from cancer. So she being the wonderful person she was made sure nothing was unsaid. She told me No regret, she was sorry for anything that she might had done to me as a child that would have hurt me. I let her know all was forgiven. I was lucky in a way to be able to say all the things I wanted her to hear before she went. No matter what, pain comes with death and each of us have to go through it. Just have family and friends near and don't be afraid to cry. Even if your brother is tired tell him to just listen and let him know all that is in your heart. Once he is gone you can never get that moment back. I really understand what you are going through and YES it is one of the hardest things we have to do in our lives is letting go of a loved one. God Bless you during this time and I will pray for you and your brother.

Sincerely,

Golden Eagle Women

I lost my sister almost 6 years ago. It was truly the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. One of the things that helped me the most was joining an online grief group for people that have lost siblings... griefnet.org You need to talk and talk and talk about it but your friends often get tired of listening to you. They think you should be 'over' it and tend to avoid you. Feel free to talk here and to join the griefnet site. It does get better but don't hurry the process. Grief is grief, it's different for everyone so experience it in your own way and in your own time. You're in my thoughts and prayers. -Kerwea

Sharon, We all need someone to talk to at times like this. This is a great place to be able to share your pain . There are many people here that understand what watching a loved one die feels like. It is the hardest thing any of us have to do. My heart goes out to you and your brother. I will pray for you both. I have had to watch my mother, father and husband die, It is such a lonely feeling. When I was caring for my parents, I used to think why is this happening to such good people and why must I watch them die. When my husband died about 2 years ago, I felt that my experience with their deaths made it possible for me to cope with caring for and watching my husband slip away. I was so glad that my husband and I were able to tell each other how we felt. We discussed everything. There was no doubt in either of our minds that we loved each other. It is so important to talk, while you have the chance. Those talks will carry you after his death. I try now to remember all the good things , and happy times we shared over the years. I can not think of him now without smiling. I have so many happy memories with him. I hope you do too. Those memories will help a lot later on. Let yourself grieve, and dont let anyone decide when you are done. We do learn to live , and go on without our loved ones, but we never forget them. I think we always grieve for them. He needs you close during this time. If he has no energy to talk. Just talk and let him listen. Share your thoughts, and read to him. I talked to my husband even when he was in a coma. I know he heard me. Pray . He needs your smiles right now. He needs you to just be there, even if just to sit by his side. It will comfort him. God Bless you , and Keep writing here, and talking about your brother. It helps to talk . My Best to you!