Posted: May 7, 08 4:12pm
Hello Everyone,
This is my first time here on this site. I'm depressed more then normal, because you see,my mother just passed away Monday May 5th very suddenly. She was ill- diabetic with complications, legally blind, dementia (mild). I'm an only child, so my whole life was devoted to my mother and father( he died of cancer and alzheimers in 1989).So, then it was just me and my mother. I have no other family or friends- just my dog and cat. My mother started having problems with breathing, so we( me and our doctor) put her on oxygen, and she seemed to be doing better for the month or so she was on it, then last friday when I helped her into bed, so just suddenly went limp and closed her eyes. I ran to get the phone and screamed at her at the same time. She awoke after 30-40 seconds, but I insisted she go to the hospital. They said she had pneumonia and something about the carbon in her oxygen was very high and needed to be put on a machine that would put pressure to get it out. She appeared to be doing better, but on Monday it didn't look good. My mother had always said she wanted to die in her own bed, and I wanted to do this for my father, but he was too weak and I couldn't.After arguing with the doctors and confirming with our doctor, I got her home by ambulance and an hour and a half later she passed away. I'm happy for her that she is now at peace and isn't suffering anymore, but I feel so, so lonely. I'm disabled with diabetes too, so I don't work and can't drive at night because of cataracts from my diabetes. This may sound selfish, but I wish I had died first, that way I wouldn't be left behind. If my mother was alone, they would have people to help her and be with her.....I'm one of the unknown. If anyone here is from Connecticut and would like to be my friend, please leave a message.Just when I think I'm all cried out, the waterfalls begins again. I feel like an orphan.Thanks for taking the time to read my post!
