Aren't Boomers the sandwich generation? Taking care of our parents and our children at the same time?

The adult child living close by the aging parents (and in some cases this child taking care of their in-laws too) doing the grocery shopping, yard work, doctor appts, house work, legal work, cooking, taxes, banking, car maint, house maint (endless list) for their parents while juggling to take care of their spouse, kids, house, full time job.

The adult children a few states away (or another country) who aren't there for the day-to-day responsibilities but send monthly cash to their parents for food, emergencies, home maint., medication, meals out, transportation.

Adult "far away" children who take several flights home a year, give up planned vacation or take last minute "vacation" to go home for emergencies. Trying do everything they possibly can in the week they're home so they can get back to their job and other responsibilities (kids, spouse, home).

Flights, car rentals, etc. adding up to or easily topping $1000 every trip home in addition to paying for everything that comes up during the year to help their parents. Which yes, isn't the same as the one child that is actually living close by trying to get things done after work and the weekends.

But as you said, if we don't take care of our parents who will?

Your absolutely right .. others have different obstacles to overcome inorder to share "thier love of parents"..

Froggy

You are amazing, but are far from the norm. The biggest mistake I see Adult Children make is trying to do everything for their parents - they end up totally burned out and waste precious time trying to manage something they know nothing about, such as their medical care. They develop illnesses themselves and end up having problems in their marriage, job, and their own family. The majority of families have one child that does most of the direct care and the remaining siblings contribute little.

dont try to be a super woman..seek out help.

Froggy, I am so with you on taking care of your parents. And GM is right, some adult children totally burn out. You love them so much and you want to do what is right for them. I really want my MIL to live in a place with people more her own age. She told me she doesn't want to be around old people (she's 86). She is a hoot.

When MIL was in cardiac ICU last year we had the time to read all of the hospital booklets with the hours long visits to the hospital. By reading (normally I'd put them in a file) we found out that she could be eligible for many services since she lived at home alone. Our contact arranged for a home health aid, OT visits, PT visits and a nurse which helped out a lot since they came to her home after her hospital release.

So far our parents are healthy and doing okay (my hubby's 86 year old dad has a 90 year old ladyfriend--and they are so sweet together). Our kids are okay, except for needing a bit of the green stuff from time to time. So Richard and I feel this is our time--a window of opportunity, if you will, to do some quality travel and enjoy our "retirement" while parents and kids are doing okay. I know the day will come when we will need to be available. Who knows? Maybe our folks will be healthy til the end, which would be wonderful. But I am ready and willing to help them as much as I can.

And Froggy, you sound like a terrific son!

I agree, I want to adopt Froggy. We have to hire a handyman to do everything on MIL's house. My husband and I aren't exactly what you'd call DIYers.

I am so grateful to have had both of my parents my entire life (so far). At my age of 58 I have many friends who have lost at least one if not both of their parents. My mother was in her twenties when she lost her mother, and that is something that I can't even imagine. Knowing my parents are both there is something that has been a constant source of comfort for me.

Therefore, when it comes to caring for them as they age, I am there for them. I also have 4 younger sisters, 3 of whom live in the same town with us, but as the oldest and most accessible, I pick up a lot of the extra duties involved. But it's an honor to be able to pay them back this way.

To this point, they are both in fairly good health although this past year they have started to decline somewhat. My father is now legally blind and unable to drive which has created a new lifestyle for them. My mother has started having severe back problems which has curtailed her driving and activities. I'm sure that over the next few years there are going to be more changes that are going to cause the caregiving to become more difficult. But it will never be anything other than an honor and privilege to be able to help them as a partial repayment for everything they've done for me during my lifetime.

I love them dearly!