What kind of advice . . . for you or for your child . . . ? I ask only because it was much harder on ME when my first one started school than it was on him. lol.

Is there something of specific concern to you? Are you worried about how your little one will accept the change? Are you concerned that they'll be lonely? Give me just a tad bit more information and I'll be happy to help. I've been through it once, and am about to send my youngest off to kindergarten . . . both of my babies in school . . . I need a kleenex!

Hello Kristylove,

School, huh...I had a talk with my two kids about this just the other day. My youngest is 23, oldest is 25, and we talked about the effect that school in those first few years has with the rest of your life. Seems like you learn most of what you need to know to get through life in those first few years, specifically, you learn how to learn.

My son, still attending Wayne State University, was mentioning to me the problems some of his classmates were having, surprised they had made it to their fourth year of college; problems related to things they should have learned before third grade.

While yours is just entering school for the first time, what is, IMHO, the most important phase of a childs learning and development is about to begin. Take it seriously, but don't be anxious; be excited for your child and be excited with your child. There are good times ahead.

Academically, they're learning the basics, reading, writing and 'rithmetic. The foundation for everything else, so essential if they're to get anything else to sink in.

Socially, they begin learning how to coexist with others, sometimes very different from themselves, not always nice, not always fun, but they learn to deal with it.

All in all, the experience should be kept as positive as possible, and this requires your support. Talk to your child about it, ask about their day, talk about their interactions with individuals, be the one they don't hide bad experiences or feelings from.

Coax when you need to. Set rules about homework, and help them manage their time, so that they'll be assured free time once things are done. Where two parents are involved, make sure you act as one, so mom doesn't say one thing, and dad another. Parents need to be on the same team.

Tell them stories about your experiences when you were at school, keep it as positive in all ways as you are able.

"Why do I have to go to school?"

My wife and I both worked, we explained that everyone in the world has a job to do, and now that you're old enough, school will be your job, and jobs can be a lot of fun. We told them about the neat things like music and art, and learning to count, and how to read, and doing it all with new friends. Pre-school and kindergarten can be so much fun, my kids loved it, and it is a good way to spot any potential learning or social problems a child may have.

So, aside from the possible separation anxiety you both may experience, it should be a good overall transition from home to school; and like ordinarygirl said, much harder on you than your child. Take it a day at a time, make sure they know you are their advocate, you went through it too, and just love, support, and talk, talk, talk to your child.

My two didn't always love school, but overall it was a positive experience for them. I have countless afternoons and evenings spent with them in the books...re-aquainting myself with their subject matter so I could be of some help. It wasn't problem free, I was on a first name basis with most of their teachers and the principals; they were, after all, no angels....no Einsteins either, they had to work for it.

My end result: I have two intelligent, well-rounded kids; after their degrees, they both re-enrolled in school, and are both working now, and still taking classes, because they want to. They'll make it ok.

I am worried about how he will accept the change. i am a stay at home mom and hes always been around mommy. I worried about him not fitting in, he is so sensitive.

thanxs that info is really helpful

Based on your response, I'm not suprised by the 'end result'. Sounds like your kids have FABULOUS parents! I loved reading your advice, and wholeheartedly agree with everything you said!

I wasn't a SAHM, but my big boy had huge issues with transitions. He was a momma's boy to the n-th degree. I'll be honest with you, the first few days were challenging. He kept asking why he had to go back, he wanted to stay home, he cried, he wouldn't eat at lunch time, he had a tough time. But within a week he was doing better, and within 2 weeks he was an 'old pro' and was happy and playing. I think Rick's advice would be applicable here. Be supportive, be encouraging, be POSITIVE, be excited. For YOU I have this . . . if you're anything like me, this is a bittersweet moment in your life. You're happy and proud that he's hit a new milestone, but sad that your baby isn't so much of a 'baby'. For his sake, at least in his presence, focus on the 'happy' part. If he senses any hesitation or sadness on your part it will make it more difficult for him.

About fitting in . . . I think all kids struggle with that to some extent. He'll find his friends. Most teachers (especially in the early grades) are very good helping them through that social excersise. He'll be just fine.

My 4 year old just started kindergarten and I was wondering how she would do following the rules. She is the youngest and used to a lot of attention from her much older siblings. Kindergarten teachers are wonderful-they usually have tried and true techniques to help children learn social skills as well as academics. I teach 3rd grade in the same school my daughter goes to and it's been very nice seeing her come down the hallway.. day one: twirling, yelling out and waving to people.. and now 18 days later, walking quietly, and only dancing once in awhile.LOL. Now... we have work to do on her bus behavior. :)