Of course not. If you were hungry and found your wife emptying the pantry to other passersby you'd have a right to be angry. If your own sex life is almost nonexistent, anything that look, smells or resembles sex elsewhere isn't fair to you. Get your joint selves into marriage counseling to fix this situation.

It may well be a big under-reaction. Especially when she actually tells you that her communications are for the purpose of getting sexually aroused. When you don't appear to have any such effect on her passions.

The messages/contacts with her ex-husband, especially "I miss you", when she does not say that to you, seem ominous to me. I would not tolerate it, and personally would give her an ultimatum: those men or me.

I agree that couples counseling may open up badly needed communications, and help clarify the situation for both of you.

Just be prepared for a shock.

Thank you. I didnt think I was being unreasonable. Especially when I have caught hell just for thumbing through a Sports Illustrated swim suit issue.

You're NOT over-reacting. She's allowed her fantasies to interfere with her marriage. I'm all for cutting spouses slack to indulge their fantasies. But when trolling on Craigslist interferes with marital peace, something has to give.

Hmmm! I've run into the same situation, except that my husband tells me that his relationships with his true.com contacts are all totally innocent. However, he gets email from women displaying their various body parts as well as sexy undie shots. Also phone messages from these same women masturbating and suggesting what they wish he were doing with them. He claims that there is no sex involved and that he is trying to break off these relationships, even as he is making new contacts. He is very upset that I have read his emails and accused me of spying on him. He also claims to love only me. I'm guessing that he tells all his "girls" the same thing. I'm cute, in good shape, slim, take care of myself, and try in every way to let him know I love and need him, so I'm not sure what the solution is.

What shape you're in has absolutely nothing to do with your husband's philandering. You two have a problem that would best be handled in marriage counseling.