Posted: Jul 19, 08 5:08am
Ok, this is my first time in a discussion group so please pardon any faux pas. My husband is having an internet affair. Every day when I leave for work in the morning he gets onto the internet. 2 years ago I suspected and logged in as him. I instantly received a message from a woman who said "I love you and miss you so much. I confronted him about it. He was furious at me. She lives in Canada so I don't believe they have ever met. The last 2 years has been pretty much a roller coaster. We don't fight but there is no intimacy. He NEVER touches me except when he wants sex. And that is all it is, sex.We talk like we are best friends but there is no other connection. Two months ago he left a note that he "had to get his head on straight" and was gone for 4 days. When he came home I asked him if he had figured anything out. He said not really and didn't want to talk about it. I waited about a week and broached the subject. I asked him if he had been alone those 4 days and he said he was. I know that I have made mistakes in our marriage but have never stepped out, or even had feelings for another man. The main subject of our relationship during our talk was about trust. He said he could not trust me since I had lied to him about going to lunch with a male co-worker a few times very early in our relationship (over 10 years ago). At that time I quit going to lunch with anyone except other women. He said I could not trust him either and that he feels he is under a microscope. I have learned over the course of our marriage many things, made mistakes, and corrected them. I also asked him during that talk if he loved this other woman. He said he cares about her. I am devasted and don't know what to do. I really believed and still do we were meant for each other so it tears me up to know he is spending his emotions with someone else. I know there is no going back but I want to move forward and try to make things better. I have worked at remaining positive as that is what I have read is best to do. But after 2 years I feel lost and don't know how much more I can take. I truly believe he is a good man but he is lost as well. I know counselling as a couple is out as he will never do this. Has anyone out there ever been where I am?
