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Group admin:: ladytexianmw
Created:: January 11, 2008
: 173 Members

Group Tags:

Infidelity, cheating, adultery, relationships, marriage, monogomy, affair, mental health, sex

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still paying for my mistake

Posted: Feb 15, 08 4:41am

hi, i cheated on my husband of 10years. I started mailing a younger guy 5 years my senior and we got really close, eventually i met this guy and we kissed. my husband found out about it and since then it has been like walking on eggs. this happend March last year and hubby found out May. so it has been about 8months. i stopped talking to this guy before i was caught out and never did anything like this again. my husband is convinced that i slept with this guy and there is no way i can get him to believe me (my fault)

well i have been as understanding as i could to his feelings even though he tells me he loves me and wants to work on the marriage there are times when i sense differently. my husband and i have been together for almost 13years and married for 10 with 3 beautiful kids, we have been through alot together. our marriage was never perfect, i kept things from him, stupid things and he played his part, accusing me of being unfaithful when i wasnt, drinking even though i begged him to stop, putting his parents needs and feelings before mine, knowing how i felt, there were lots of contributing factors but i think the straw that broke the camels hump was the 6months before the affair.

i sensed that he didnt want me or loved me anymore, we didnt speak or spend time with each other, constantly putting each other down, there was no connection, even the sex was just a duty to me because it was the only time he showed emotion towards me.

dont get me wrong, there is just something about him that i love and thought i lost, but i see a glimse of it every now and again, and it is worth what we are going through. that is to say for me at least. my problem now, is that he doesnt trust me AT ALL. we talk to each other the whole day, just to check up on me, i have made my life an open book to him as far as giving him rights to my company email there is noway or how i can hide anything from him, even if i wanted to and still he has suspicions. i dont want my marriage to end but there are days when i feel i cant take it anymore and just want to call it quits,

IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND HAS MADE IT? I NEED ADVICE PLEASE, I NEED SOME KIND OF HOPE AND I NEED TO KNOW HOW CAN I REGAIN HIS TRUST BECAUSE I AM ALL OUT OF IDEAS....

help help help help help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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marriage

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3 Comments // 4 Members

IsadoraAlman

Posted: Feb 15, 08 9:15am

YROSE wrote:

hi, i cheated on my husband of 10years. I started mailing a younger guy 5 years my senior and we got really close, even...

Ask HIM how you can regain his trust. It does take time. Regaining trust is usually accomplished by acting in a trustworthy manner over time.

If you are still feeling disconnected from him or he from you I urge you to look into marriage counseling. Sounds like there is a lot to heal on both sides from a marriage that was far less than perfect before your one kiss. Don't fall into the role of perpetual apology here. Your husband has much to answer for as well.

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laura268

Posted: Feb 24, 08 3:42pm

YROSE wrote:

hi, i cheated on my husband of 10years. I started mailing a younger guy 5 years my senior and we got really close, even...

Yes, you have to show him that he has no reason to worry. How did he find out?

Why did you go down this road in the first place? It sounds like the distance between you was after he found out about your friend.

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cassy

Posted: Mar 24, 08 8:06am

YROSE wrote:

hi, i cheated on my husband of 10years. I started mailing a younger guy 5 years my senior and we got really close, even...

WOW, YROSE

I have been in that same position once myself and it was hell trying to get it back to some type of normal middle ground, it was very hard, but you have to go out on a limb on most days and Look at it from his point of view. I was just like your husband in which mine cheated on me, and it took everything that i had in me going out on a limb in having to mustard up enough courage into being able to stand the test of time in our marriage, but the days turn into months and the months turn into years and things just started (again)to feel like a marriage, DONT give up BUT learn how to give in sometimes, and work on it together it will get better. Youre love has grown over the years and you both will almost have to jump start it again and make it better,and talk it out make it new again, learn what the other needs and wants are, it can be mind challenging but its worth it if you want your marriage to work.

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