You learn to trust slowly by his behaving in a trustworthy manner and your giving him the benefit of the doubt. Talk often and openly about anything that gives you pause. Remember the man you loved before the betrayal and that you want to recapture that sense of wellbeing.

I went through the same thing with my marriage of 25 years, only difference is I divorced him. If I found out he had sex with her I dont think I would be as upset and I would of ( I think) forgave him.. He told her that he loved her and that really hurt.Love I believe isnt a word just used to throw around, at least thats how we as a couple believed. I am still trying to find out how to trust again, all I can say is... its not easy or done over night.

I agree, that also has happen to me as well, and sometimes I dont even think that I can love him ever the same again, and on other days I love him just as I did when we first got together, so some days you'll have your up and your downs, and you'll soon learn how to keep those emotion under check, as the days go by.

I am wondering the same thing. My husband has not had a long standing affair, just lots of "encounters" some with the same person but most just once. I never knew until later and I always forgave him, but I don't feel the same about him and I don't think I ever will. We have five kids so I can't just walk away.

In the 2 months since I found out about his affair, Ive run through every emotion possible. From extreme depression, to extreme anger to unbelievably laughter. I never thought Id hear myself saying this, but Time really does heal all wounds. No I havent forgiven him, I dont think I ever truly will, nor will I ever forget. But, he has been here for me. He knows what he did, knows he was wrong, knows it was not my fault and why I feel the way I do, what to say to me to help me get over this. Not every day is a picnic. But I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is a very long tunnel, but the light is there. We have gone to counseling and we are talking hours every day to each other. I truly believe that we will be OK. At 1 point in my life, I knew if he ever cheated I would kill him, now that the shoes are proverbabily on my feet, I know I can and will survive this. Every day by day, til the days become weeks, then months then years.