He's the one to ask. After you have apologized for breaking the faith, ask him how you can repair the damage. He may want repeated apologies. Hew may want to drop the subject. He may want to hear all the details. See if he can guide you to a repaired relationship. If he can't handle his anxiety or you the fallout, I strongly suggest couples' counseling.

Is it still cheating when your not with your husband and are sperate? If so I'm guilty as charge. Time heals all wounds belive me, things take time and its going to take a lot of energy from you but if you want your marriage to work, than hang in there.

Good Luck.

We have talked and I am doing all that he wants me to. But the anxiety is still there. But he has told me not to say I'm sorry anymore. He said I was saying it too much.

We love each other very much and are very close now. He doesn't argue or get upset. It's that he can't forget all that I've told him.

We tried MC but the idiot woman didn't want to deal with anything in the past. She only wanted to start us anew as if we were newlyweds. Like we don't have enough common sense in what to do in a marriage. We have been married for 35 years, longer than she is old. We've raised all of our children and they are bragged on all of the time as some of the best people any one has met. We are mature, H is 61,and a great grandfather by his first marriage, and I am 52. And for this MC(??) to treat us as a couple of kids who just got married is beyond belief.

We went to dr. yesterday and got new meds for him. Hope they work.

IMHO, yes, until the final divorce is issued, then I don't believe one should see anyone else. I am not judging you, after what I have done, but think about what you are doing. Don't let yourself be in my shoes.

Speaking from the side of the person who was cheated on, let me tell you how bad I was when I 1st discovered his affair. I had an emotional and mental breakdown. My nerves were shot. I started out not sleeping, not eating (lost close to 20 lbs), had an incontrollable shake in my hands. I started to drink at night just to make me loopy enough to sleep. We started counseling, seperate & together. I cant say its easy to stay with him, but I do love him, so that alone is giving me the willpower to get past the physical side-affects and move on. It has been almost 2 months since I found out. I know at the time, I never thought things would get easier, but they are. I can actually go almost a whole day now without wondering why, who, where, when... etc. The counseling has helped tremendously, if you havent talked to someone, I would suggest it. Sometimes the outside voice of reason from someone not closely associated with the situation is a very powerful tool.

Been through the same thing. You can either wallow in your sadness or take real steps to create a better life. I suggest you continue to grieve, but make sure you take time each day to plan for a new life today! Otherwise, it will be five years from now, and you'll be exactly where you are today.

Create a new life. He may decide to come along or not. Either way, you will be better in the long run.

I got stuck and am finally getting on with my life...should have done what I am doing years ago.

That's all.

I can tell you its extreemly painfull from a guys point of view. Im not even sure my wife slept with this other guy but i do know there was a strong emotional bond which was enough to put me in a living hell. Like Debbie Fratt stated i stopped sleeping and eating and i lost 30 lbs. At some point i realized i needed to get myself throgh this and was hopeing it would be with her. I guess the best thing you can do would be honest and just be there for him. Time will make that wound heal.