I think you're right.....would be hard to have a "sex only" relationship. Hmmm....even that's a "relationship."

It usually is something that starts out as friends then turns physical. Some friendships can withstand it others breakdown never really ever being the same if they end. Its usually convenience that motivates the benifits part of the package...Both parties may be not dating or healing from a relationship or just need sex. Honesty is what makes it work out well. You really cant have any expectations of each other tho, your not in a relationship so the jealous types dont do well in these sort of friendships. I have had three FWB relationships...one turned into a relationship which never really went anywhere, the other we ended the benefits part but remain friends to this day (it was a very seamless transition, almost too easy) although the tension remains, the third...............

I have friends who have FWBs, and in the situations I've had details on, there is always one partner or the other that has feelings that cannot be expressed.

For me, I am very up front about the fact that sex (live and in person) doesn't work for me without emotions. I have to feel connected emotionally in order for everything else to work. I'm not talking about being in love, but there has to be a friendship bond and a lot of trust built before sex can bring me to those highs. Anytime I have plunged right in, there may be orgasms but it is like eating crackers when what I really need is a hot fudge sundae.

If I need a fill-in to scratch the itch when there is no one, I go for cyber or phone sex with a friend.

I really think "friends with benefits" can't help but become emotionally messy.

Hi Mellymel. For now, this is something I wonder about. Seems like the old slam, bam, thank you ma'm wouldn't work all that well for me.

Back when I was in my 20's I had 2 FWBs. Our circle of friends consisted of 3 guys and 2 gals, all single.

Gal #1 wanted a FWB thing, and I started with her, then after about 6 months she got back with her boyfriend. We remained friends.

She told gal #2 about our FWB relationship; she approached me and wanted in. At 23 and unattached, I was ready and willing. Especially since I was highly recommended.

After about 3 months her boyfriend was back in the picture but we remained friends.

I got a girlfriend shortly after that and at a party one night, I was there with my GF, 2 of my buddies were there, and the 2 gals with their boyfriends.

When I snuck out for a bit with the 2 gals we were laughing about me having been with all 3 gals and nobody knew but us.

For a 23 year old, that was very cool.

Don't know if I could do it now. But it has crossed my mind...

I agree JustKat. However, I'm glad Anthony4NewFriends replied. I want to hear from a side that worked. I would be doing myself a disservice taking on a FWB. I want a partner who wants to sex me because he wants me not because I called and said, listen I'm horny, bring your dick. Well OK, I have said those words, but it was to my SO or partner and we were in a relationship.

Sometimes it does happen that one feels more deeply than the other, but that happens in all sorts of dating relationships. It is a risk one takes.

I think there is a difference between a Friends With Benefits relationships if the two really are friends before, during and after the sex and a relationship that is about casual sex with few expectations.

There doesn't have to be NO emotions. I feel warmly toward someone who gives me pleasure and entertains me so delightfully but in those cases I have no expectations that the relationship will go any deeper than what it is and neither has the man. Neither of us is what the other would choose for a major romance. The criteria for a casual sex buddy and a life partner are very different.

By the way, Valencia, I'd say "two or three times a week" is very optimistic!