I am going through a very similar situation, only reverse. My wife does not like to have sex. I thought it was only women that were like this. I spoke with my wife about it many times and she says, "it is not you, it is me." That does not solve the problem. It is very frustrating. I think your husband is ignorant and does not know a good thing when it is right in front of his face. I would give my right arm for a spouse that wanted to have sex often. I am sorry I don't have any good advice, but I just wanted you to know that there are also men that go through the same thing with their wives.

I've read that alot of reasons could cause this, I remember myself at one point not wanting sex like I do now and then I wasn't exactly 100% attracted to the man, it was like he just didn't turn me on anymore... I hate this crap, however I hope our spouses comes around soon...

I am sorry your going thru this as well.

good luck

Based on your brief post, it's impossible to say why your husband has shut down sexually. But here are a few possibilities to consider.

The hot-and-heavy period may be over for him. When couples first get together, they can't keep their hands off each other. Typically that lasts from 6 months to 2 years. How long have you known each other? After the hot-and-heavy period, one person usually feels less interest in sex. That's when desire differences start becoming a big issue. And they are a big issue, one of the leading reasons couples consult sex therapists.

In our culture, the expectation is that men have more libido than women. This is often the case, but not always. Sex therapists say that when they counsel couples for major desire differences, 30-40 percent of the time, it's the woman who has more libido. But because this situation contradicts cultural assumptions, it's harder to deal with. Your husband may be having trouble adjusting to the realization that he just doesn't have as much sexual interest as you do.

Chronic stress is another major libido killer. Sounds to me like your husband has been dealing with considerable stress lately: his libido loss, living with his in-laws, and having a house built. Perhaps that has something to do with his shut down.

I suggest you read the article in the TBD archive on desire differences. Search: Desire differences.

If that doesn't take care of things, then I'd suggest sex therapy. Sex therapists can usually help couples accommodate desire differences. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at www.aasect.org. Click the map of the U.S. and Canada, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your state or province.

Thanks your info helped, and my husband and I haven't known eachother for only 7 months. We got married really fast into our relationship, and he tells me everyday how much he loves me. He says he has no regrets on rushing into marriage, and he says he'll keep me forever and always. I asked him if I am not attractive to him anymore, I am 5'3 and I was 115 lbs when we met and now I am like 125, and losing some weight, and he says I am beautiful no matter how much weight I gain. So I do think its not my weight, maybe the stress is the reason. I do understand him not wanting to disrespect my parents having sex in their home, thats good to a point. I think I am going to get us a hotel room this weekend and see if I can't spice things up. Wish me luck, and again thanks for the info...

Take care

Oh my god you are in the same exact boat that I am in. My husband and I have only been married for 5 months as well and we haven't had sex in almost 4 months!! The first month was HOT but now it doesn't exist and I mean nothing... no foreplay or anything. I am 23 and he is 30. The only difference between my situation and your's is that we have been together for 5 years and my husband has straight out told me that he doesn't want sex. He has been to the doctors twice because he believes it is a medical issues. He doesn't even have the desire to masturbate. We are in the process of trying to figure out what is wrong with him and what we can do to fix this situation. I thought I was the only one going through this so early in my marriage. I feel a little more at ease knowing that I am not alone. I understand exactly what you are going through!

It's likely that nothing is medically wrong with your husband. So it's likely there's no quick fix for his loss of libido. I suggest you guys consult a sex therapist. You guys have a major desire difference. That's one of the leading reasons why couples consult sex therapists. To put you at ease: You don't have sex with a sex therapist, and you don't have sex with a sex therapist watching. Sex therapists are psychotherapists who engage in talk therapy, only they have lots of training in sexual issues. Your issue is sexual, so a sex therapist should be able to help. Sex therapy may or may not coax your husband to want sex more, and it won't make you want it any less. What it will do is help you guys talk about this very deep very sensitive issue and hopefully get to a place where it stops cause major distress in your relationship. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at www.aasect.org. Click the map of the U.S. and Canada, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your state or province.

It's certainly possible that your husband has a low testosterone level and it's good to have that tested. A quick fix is always preferable, but it's rarely only that. I agree with Michael, that after an MD's exam a consultation with a sex therapist would be helpful in teaching you how to negoatiate a better arrangement that doesn't leave the low desire partner miserable.