WTF!!! You can flog your dolphin any fucking way you want. Your just jacking off! And where can I get the title "expert at masturbating" because I surely qualify.

There's no wrong way unless it's not working. Anything goes!

I'm totally serious. There really is a thing called "Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome." It means a man masturbating on his stomach, and thrusting into his hand thereby simulating the vagina. Google it. There's a ton of information on how serious a problem it can be.

Oh I believe you. It is just that you are some how taking all the fun and pleasure out of it. I think I have done a lot worse things to my dick in the past I can assure you. It is a wonder it has not fell off yet.

Any man thrusting into his hand is simulating a vagina to some degree...what are you worried about? It feels good, doesn't it?

Steve I need to see you...

You are just to funny - and you might be the expert at it right now - but I just might win that title after my rabbit gets here.