Posted: Oct 4, 08 7:23pm
This may not be the right group for this discussion but bear with me, I think I can make it germane. When people get married, its like symbolically becoming as one. It does not mean the literally become as one. They are still individual beings with their own thoughts and feelings. A lot of things become joint in marriage but everyone needs their own space (metaphorically speaking), their own sense of self. They need to know they are free to be themselves. I read in a lot of threads in here that as long as your mate knows everything. Total honesty is the key. Secrets equal guilt (at least that is what I am understanding). IMO, total honesty is overrated. Even my wife gets tired of me telling her so much. It can even, at times, complicate something that is actually a simple matter. The question becomes can I be honest with you and still be me? Hey, a little mystery is part of the spice of life. I am not saying you shouldn't be honest. Most definitely be honest about the things that really matter. But for example, telling your mate about fantasizing about the next door neighbor (unless they are into that) can cause undo stress. If all it is, is a fantasy, why cause them the anguish?
What's your opinion?
