I enjoy the openess of the chat also. I'm not here trolling for women and also think it's kind of rude for men to assume that if you want to be open about your sexuality that you are open to suggestive comments or messages. It's nice to have a place that you can come and just be open and hopefully not get bogged down in he said she said things or finger pointing and snickering. We are hopefully all adults and should act accordingly.

I don't have that problem of those messages popping up in my inbox but if I were a woman and they did then I would delete and if they persisted then a word to the sender to stop. If they didn't then report them. If its borderline then maybe a message after the first time letting them know that you don't really want that kind of chat.

Galaxy:

You have hit on a very important issue. It's unfortunate that for so many guys, but not all, any mention of sex seems to give them license, at least in their own thinking, to launch, to get cheap and tawdry and to fire off all their catcalls.

I know from my own experience, more offline than online, that when I have known women who toss in a few inuendos about sex, I admit that it's emboldened me to take the conversation in a different direction, than if they hadn't said things. Regardless, I still treat a woman with respect and admiration whether she's open sexually or not.

Doc

I engage in these discussions for multiple reasons..here are a couple of examples.

1. I enjoy discussing things of a sexual nature..its one of my fave topics.

2. My husband and I have no sex life, so I use these threads to express my unusually high sex drive.

I completely understand where your coming from on the perv messages galaxygirl..as you know I am VERY open on these threads, so I have men constantly pm me for cyber. I just politely tell them Im not interested, and usually they go away. In some cases they have not got the message, so then I tell them if they dont back off, I will roll them up like a f**king burrito., then I block them.

Just because a woman loves sex and flirts with people, it is NOT an open invite for cyber sex :)

I've had the same problem that you're talking about GalaxyGirl, of men who assume I'm more than willing to engage in cybersex, just because I'm willing to speak frankly about sexual issues, or in my case, just because I write sexually explicit stories.

The way I handle it is to either:

a) ignore the request and any further attempts at contact when he repeats his mistake of wanting to push me into a sexually explicit converation.

b) nip it in the bud. If he started out respectful and then tries to ramp things up, I simply tell him I'm not interested in that.

It would REALLY be nice if men could look at us as PEOPLE with feelings instead of OBJECTS...

I would suggest, men, that -- if you're contacting someone for the first time -- don't assume she's interested in having a sexually explicit chat. Would you approach a woman in real life that way? Don't do anything in cyberspace that you wouldn't do in real life... at least when first having a private conversation with her.

Thanks Chloe- I was afraid I would be perceived as a prude or something. I am a very sexual person, AND I am a very relationship oriented person. I am in a nearly sexless marriage, and also enjoy the open sexuality of this forum. I am not here to offer myself up for any and every guys spank-bank that reads my post. LOL

Sexuality in this country is steeped in its old Puritanical traditions.

Since the liberating '60s and 70s we've learned that sex need no longer be a hush-hush topic. It's all out of the closet now.

We admitted and agreed that women had the same desires as men and were not subservient to their partners' whims any longer.

Older adults still seek reassurances in their "new" feelings, and discussions as those found here are healthy and supportive ways of clarifying them: "Uh...I like this...does anyone else like it? You do? Great...I thought I was the only one."

But attitudes can take generations to change. Children now are not as burdened by the mores of their parents as in the past.

While standing in line to buy tickets to a show, I overheard two mothers in the adjacent line discussing their children.

The first had picked up a phone extension in her home and overheard a 10 year old girl telling her 9 year old son she wanted to have sex with him.

The second's, perhaps blase, response was, "Uh-uh. You shouldn't have been listening in on his calls".

She didn't seem worried at all that children were that comfortable with each other about sex.

The issue here is NOT sex between pre-teens (that's another discussion), it's their relaxed attitude about the subject.

It's NBD, no big deal, to them.

They see the ads, the books (oh yes...they do find the Playboys, etc.) To get into a porn site all they have to do is click on the link that says they agree they're of legal age...with no proof necessary.

They know what's going on. And are, I feel, a lot healthier toward the subject than we'll allow ourselves to believe.

As to the issue of horndogs pestering you for cybersex, two words: Click delete!

Now, down to serious stuff...What are you wearing? (Just joking!)

Galaxy,

Thanks for this question. A similar query was posted recently and received good response; nonetheless, your comments, I am sure, will elicit a different stream of remarks.

As for me, I am in a sexually inhibited marriage with a woman who has a very low libido and no interest in flirting or banter of a sexual nature. This forum allows me, like you, to interact with likeminded people, to have a little fun and, to maybe learning something along the way. It is refreshing to know that there are women out there who actually do have libidos and a willingness to talk about them. It is reaffirming for me to know that.

And its fun and interesting to read what women have to say about sex and their own sexuality. Most of us men are not used to that.

(I should mention here that I take it on trust that there are actually women posting to this board. That the posters who claim to be women aren't just freaky men or TBD employees with random pics of women and fabricated stories on their profiles.)

This is the second revelation today of PMs that has made a woman on this board uncomfortable. I really don't know what to say to you about those messages, except to tell you to set immediate boundaries with each person who sends a message that is out of your comfort area. Do this directly and firmly. (I am sure you are already doing this.) Obviously, having the message on your profile is not enough.

Sorry for the ramble.