Maybe she just uses it to treat sore muscles.

The other possibility is that she masturbates. Amazingly, there are some people who actually do that! Some of them are even married women. Most people don't talk much to others (even spouses) about their own masturbation. As the Nike folk might say, they just do it.

If spousal masturbation is a threat to marriage, than lots (most?) of us are in trouble.

A vibrator is just a means to a masturbatory end. It shouldn't be viewed as an escalating threat to her fidelity or your marital security.

If she wants to tell you about it, she will. Otherwise, move on and don't let this drive you nuts.

I agree with hogback. If you feel left out incorporate it into your joint sex life. Since you have found out that it exists and where, you might just produce it when you're together. If you think that would embarrass your wife you could (1) say nothing about it and leave her to her privacy, or (2) bring up the subject, ask her if she has ever tried one, and suggest that the two of you acquire one to use together.

I'm guessing you guys don't masturbate in front of one another. I'm guessing that she prefers to keep her own masturbation private. She has a right to do that. But now that you know she has a vibrator, you might ask how she uses it--for sore muscles or to help with a more intimate need. If it's that latter, you might ask if she'd mind if you watched. Or showed her how you enjoy solo sex. Her secret vibe purchase can drive a wedge between you or bring you closer. The choice is yours.

Yes, I think it's common. A lot of men see it as a threat to their manhood, although this is not the woman's intent.

But, my hubby was NOT happy when he found out I had one....purchased 6 years ago after our sex life started dropping off dramatically.

Told him it's either my BOB or an affair. He's never, ever brought it up again. I've since purchased more and even tried to incorporate into our very rare sexual encounters but I think it scared him.

I bet she's embarassed and didn't know how to tell you, or thought you might not approve. Ask her if you can help her use it. Get excited about it.

hmmm Since you are not sure, is there any reason why you would not just ask? Perhaps you might want to address how you truly feel about the questions you asked in your inquiry. i.e. If she is afraid to show you, do you really mind? If she is finding that she is not being pleasured as she has been in the past, why not find out, talk it over and work on things. The result of positive communication can be incredible intimacy. Set that as your goal and go from there. Have fun. That is what it is all about...right?? Oh, and on a personal note, get rechargeable batteries. It will save you some $$. *wink and smile*