My first husband gave me a vacumn cleaner for our first Christmas. I have also received pressure cookers, pots and pans, etc. His heartbroken comment to his sister when I walked out on him after 29 years, was "Who will iron my shirts?" I'm with ya. A coffee pot and new sheets are not proper gifts for a birthday.

We're all too quick to judge.

Maybe it's a really, really nice coffee maker. An espresso machine with all the bells and whistles. Maybe Leigh-Leigh loves coffee more than almost anything.

Maybe they're silk or satin sheets. Or maybe (my favorite) flannel...

If someone got me a nice coffee maker and flannel blue and white pinstripe sheets, I'd say "Wow, this person really knows what I like!"

And maybe there's another surprise somewhere for Leigh-Leigh. I guess she'll find out today...

Gee,at least he made the effort.However..He could be like my husband and not care.Plus not care that it hurts me that he chooses to show me how much he doesnt care.Now theres a winner for ya.!Wanna trade?..LOL

Household items should be bought when you need them. Gifts should be personal and heart-felt. Perhaps your husband just doesn't understand what you would like from him? Some of us are pretty clueless at times. Doesn't mean we're insensitive. Whatever the case may be, just talk to him, if you can. If he is the type that listens, then there is a good chance he will understand. Or, maybe he's just a jerk.

Leigh-Leigh, I completely understand your hurt. Only once did my ex give me a present that was just for me... and that was before we were married. After that it was household items.

Have you tried communicating with him how it makes you feel? Like Randy said, some people are just clueless about gift giving and have no idea how impersonal gifts like that can make the receiver feel.

Btw.... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! *hug*

I understand your frustration Leigh-Leigh. My mrs' birthday is Dec. 21. She has been short changed on birthday presents all of her life. Every year I fully intend to make this year special for her, but she controls the family budget (all of my salary goes directly into the joint account) and I never have enough money to buy her an expensive personal item.

I ask her prior to her day what she wants, and I get general suggestions, but no specifics, nor the $$ to be able to splurge for her. She says I need to be creative and I'd come up with the money if I really cared.

On the other hand she spends money on me (from the family budget) for things I'd NEVER ask for.

Hi Leigh-Leigh,

I don't think you sound ungrateful or spoiled. You just sound hurt that the gift was something you would buy for a friend and not for a wife or girlfriend. I do agree with Randy that perhaps your husband does not know that household items (especially something you plug in like a blender, coffee pot, and vacuum cleaner)are items that boyfriends/husbands should not buy for the women in their lives. It makes women feel like we are not being viewed as women. Although you would think that all men would know that coffee pots and sheets are not appropriate gifts, this is not necessarily the case. I think sometimes men do not know a lot about shopping for gifts and women are afraid to tell men what they want and this miscommunication leads to problems. The man thinks that he bought a perfectly good gift and the woman feels insulted.

On the other hand, once you discuss this with your husband and if he continues to buy you "friend" or "acquaintance" gifts, this would be a bad sign. The issue is not about the gift or the value of the gift but it is about caring how the other person feels.