Posted: Apr 7, 08 2:32am
I started smoking again a few months ago after having quit for the third time. And while I'm planning on quitting again when my mind gets right, I fear that the results will be the same.
The first time I quit a year went by and I wasn't feeling any better like I was told that I would. Then the ones who told me to wait a year said that I should go for two years and I would feel great. But I didn't, so I started smoking again.
A year or two later I stopped again, this time for a year and a half, then started smoking again. I smoked for a couple of years, then quit again. But I had a different plan this time. I figured that the only thing that had changed the other times was that I quit smoking. Period. So this last time I started exercising, hit the tread mill for 3-5 miles 5 or 6 days a week, and was finally feeling GREAT! Then...I started again. And felt like shit for doing so. The one thing I had left to bolster my flagging self-esteem was that at least I had been NOT smoking for half of the last 10 years.
So here's what I've noticed; My quitting lasts for 1 1/2 to 2 years. Then something happens and I start back again. I think that I can have just one, then that turns into two and so on and so on.
I sometimes think that if I was really feeling some bad effects from smoking that it would be easier to quit. But I don't cough up blood or have a bad "smokers cough." And the only reason I've quit before is because I know in my head that it's bad for me. But the truth is that I LOVE smoking. After eating, after sex, while drinking, there's just nothing better! But still, intellectually, I know it's not good. So what do I do next time to better my chances of quitting and staying quit? I'm tired of stopping and starting, stopping and starting. I either want to quit and enjoy myself, or smoke and enjoy myself.











