If you've just moved from NC to California, I strongly suggest staying for at least 1-2 years to let inevitable homesickness wear off, before making another major move back.

I'm sure your mom misses you, although 68 is not that old, as far as moms go these days. Your friend with cancer almost certainly would want you to live your life fully. Not based on her.

Give yourself much more time. Settle down. If you go back too soon, things will not be as you hoped.

Presumably you considered those left behind when you made the move to CA. But you decided to move. I suggest that you remember why you moved in the first place. If you still feel the same way, realize that you're going to feel homesick and guilty, but if you feel fundamentally all right about moving, then hang in there for a while and see if you become reconciled to the move. But if you really regret moving, you don't have to stay. You'd have to leave your relationship to return to NC. But maybe that's what would feel best to you. It's up to you.

I understand how you feel I moved to Chicago from California. I don't know why I did I left all my family behing including my mom who is 70. My kids satyed as well because they did not want to leave their friends well they are in there 20's so I did not worry much about them however i did not know anyone I cried everyday then I finaly got use to Chicago and I fly back to California at least 3 times a year. Give It a try.good luck

I have been in North Carolina since mid-December (moved down for a job). Like you I left my dad in Kansas along with my five kids (will be going back next month to watch my youngest graduate from High School).

I never figured to leave Kansas, had been there all my life but suddenly life threw me a curve so I am making the best of it. Part of me would like to move back, but then again if I did that I might never have a chance to go out on my own (imagine that, 48 years old and just now moving out of Wichita - thought my kids would be the ones to move out of state) to have some adventures out here.

I still get homesick, again my dad and kids are now over 20 hours away, and the news I got a week or so ago about becoming a grandfather does not make it any easier.

I guess all I can offer is that that you (like me) moved for a reason - no matter what that reason was. It does not mean we will not miss those we left behind, it just means that we have to look at creative means for keeping contact with those we left behind.

For my part I will be flying back twice in May and again in August as well as Christmas. I have also kept my Wichita cell phone number so that if my family ever needs to contact me it will not be a long distance call for them (a small thing I know, but I know my kids appreciate it).

Hope this helps.

I have lived away and some day I may "live away" again. But one thing I know for sure is that no matter where you go, or how long you stay,

Home is where the heart is. You just have to decide where "HOME" is for you.

How close are you to your friend? That is a serious diagnosis. I know this all too well, we lost a child to a brain tumor last summer, she lived 9 months from the day of her diagnosis, her friends were very important to her and brought her great joy and comfort. In modern society, everyone says "Do your own thing, life is short, take care of number 1" Maybe this is true, but maybe devotion is very important as well. Only you know what is the right thing for you to do. My advise is to keep in touch with your friend, and lend a supportive ear as often as you can. Let that friend know that you care.

I agree with Shiela...home Is where your heart is! You havent commented on where your relationship is at @ this time...is it worth saving?? I moved back to NY after living all my 20 yrs. in town with my family and friends...It was one of the hardest moves of my life. Some years later my precious father became ill and I always told him I was going to move back home(homestate) soon. He passed on before I could move back...a decision I'll always have to live with. But that being said I finally did move back and my children and I got to spend 3 wonderful years with my lovely dear mother before she died. A time I will truly cherish I must say.!!! You have to evaluate which is "home" for you. And where you want to be...in your relationship there, or with your mom and friend who is ill. Remember there are always planes and cars to let you visit anytime. Talk it over with your "friend" there and see where your relationship stands..can it still be a good relationship from afar???? Then give yourself time to adjust to a "new" area, and then decide what choice you want to make...I'll keep you in my prayers...Be blessed, Laurie

If the decision to leave was to better your life, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Sometimes it's hard to move away from family and friends. I think children should be able to spread their wings and go someplace else in their life if they want. A lot of parents and children live miles away because life sometime dictates this to happen. As long as you communicate and can come home for an emergency than live your life in California. Your mother and friends should be happy for you and wish you luck in finding that job where you want.