Posted: May 6, 08 8:28pm
Recently my only nephew met and fell in love with a young woman and they got engaged. They were due to get married on 5/17/2008. She backed out on him just 3 weeks away from getting married. The whole time she was engaged to him she was planing the wedding with a fervor and had everyone ready to go through the wedding but for some oddball reason she pulled out and ended their engagement. Leaving my nephew devastated emotionally and she moved out after living with him for more than a year. She gave no indication that she wasn't happy in fact she was overly happy and wrote blogs to the fact that she couldn't wait to be married to him. She wrote often that he saved her life and made her to feel like she was wanted like and loved. Prior to their meeting she was in an abusive relationship with her ex boyfriend who physically abused her. My nephew treated her with respect and showed her nothing but love and gave her all he had to give and she ripped his heart out. I feel that she was unhealthy emotionally and dysfunctional in many ways. She caused a riff between myself and my nephew that may never be repaired over her best friend who is a total drama queen. She has been seen faking her feelings being hurt many times by them. One night this friend said something about a guy she liked and met online and I mentioned to her he was probably lying about everything he was telling her about himself. She took it wrong and she had a fit and boo hooed about it to my nephew along with his fiancee and he told me off.
You have to understand something in my family we were raised that family came before friends. YOU are supposed to defend a family member over a friend but he chose to side with her and her friend and turn on me his only maternal blood relative. This hurt me very badly as I was there for him all his life from infancy to adulthood. I feel that we went wrong somewhere teaching him that family came first only to have him turn on me. I think that engagements are stupid if someone isn't going to go all the way through with the engagement and then dump someone without even an explanation. All she said for her reason was that she needed her space. To me that is nothing more than code for I have someone else and you do not know about it. From what I do know her sister has been doing a lot of talking to her and I think that in many way her sister poisoned her mind to make her leave him. I do not and I will not allow anyone to come to me should I start my wedding ministry and do weddings for people if they aren't serious about tying the knot. I think that no one deserves to have their heart toyed with like that and in fact if I do counsel someone prior to their getting married feel that they are not ready I will flat out tell them they are not ready and I will caution them not to waste their time or mine. If you love someone that much that you want to marry them you should be serious about it and not just play emotional and mental games with someone only to hurt them in the long run. If I hear of anything like this happening again where they get down to the last 3 weeks before their wedding date with me as the official I would tell the young man to take legal action against the fiancee and her parents for emotional stress and fraud.
