Most of the facilities I've been too in recent years (and there have been several!) that make it more difficult.

The doctors are hard to get hold of with questions, hospital staff acts as if I'm a terrorist if I ask to see my chart (which I do frequently when I'm admitted), and they all act as if I'm trying to do their jobs for them when I voice a question or disagreement with their treatment plan.

However, I use to work at the hospital as a CNA, and have since educated myself on every illness and ailment that has crossed my family's doorstep.

I got into an argument with a surgeon, on the day of surgery (because I couldn't talk to him before that) about the anesthesia he planned on using. I'd been around the block enough times to know how each type was going to affect me (no spare parts left here!), and what he had planned was either going to torture me or suppress my breathing to the point of scaring the anesthesiologist. I ended up getting up, getting dressed, and walking out.

No doctor has ever called me an 'ideal patient'..... lol

I've had the same experiences, JaW! I am always disappointed that my own people, so to speak, should be so difficult to work with.

Hospitalists (doctors hired by the hospital to provide 24 hr care) do not know the patients like the PCPs (primary care physicians) who used to attend to their patients during admissions. A patient may not have the same doctor for more than two days in a row, and each hospitalist changes the orders, so the family and patient have little confidence in what is actually being done to further the patient's move toward a positive outcome and eventual discharge.

I don't know if there is an "ideal" patient anymore. Patients are asked to ask questions, but are lucky if they get an answer, and as you state, families are often treated badly by the staff for asking the question!

How much of the daily "care" did you have to provide to yourself or loved one because you couldn't get any assistance from the staff? If you gave the care, how often were you thanked for doing so?

It varied depending on the procedure and the hospital.

After my hernia, the nurses were right there at the drop of a hat, making me get up to walk when I couldn't figure out how to get out of bed without using abdominal muscles. They would hunt me down at med time, even if I was outside (which I was frequently).

After my hysterectomy, they were pretty non-existent. But I didn't help that one much. When I woke up, I was hungry, thirsty, antsy, and needed a cig. The nurse told me that the doctor wanted me NPO for 24 hours post-op. I asked if that was standard policy for the hospital or just that surgeon. When she told me just that surgeon, and she couldn't give me a reason why, I told her if she wanted me I'd be out in the parking lot drinking a soda and smoking.

They initially told me that I would be in there for 3-4 days. After I spent most of the first 24 roaming about, the woke me up at 10am the second day to tell me I'd been discharged. That was a first!

I could tell you a dozen hospital stories, most of them ending with me being rude. lol

My mother was the 'good patient' variety. It was up to me to get mean on her behalf.

She had a colonoscopy, and that evening she was having excruciating abdominal pain. She called the ER, and the nurse told her that it was probably gas (over the phone) and that there wasn't anything they could do for her if she came in.

After being up with it all night, she called her PHP. He told her to meet him at the hospital immediately. They had punctured her colon. I went to the DON and told her I wanted that nurse's head on a platter. Everybody knows that you tell a patient that you can't determine the problem until they come in. You always encourage them to come in to be examined. You never tell them don't bother.

LOL! You sound like many of my patients! The more belligerent, the more of the challenge to calm them down or find out what made them tick!

I knew all along that I wanted to eventually teach nursing students, so I placed myself on the nursing "pool" list, meaning I would work all floors/units & and all shifts so I would get a wide variety of experiences.

Anyway, when I walked on a unit, the nurses would greet me, saying, "Have we got just the patient for you!" The "pool" nurses often got the patients no one else wanted. :) I was always respectful of the patients, no matter what their 'attitude', because I could easily put myself in their place, not to mention that it was the 'right' thing to do. I loved to teach, so I would explain to the patients about their disease, surgery, any new orders, any medications or treatments, and what was anticipated (which I knew either from experience, or the physician's progress notes).

My philosophy was (and still is) that knowledge is power & the patients were more compliant with their treatment regimen if they knew WHY they were required to do something or take something, etc. They were also less likely to roam, & seemed to feel "safer" if they knew what to expect next (e.g., if they had a new med due in 30 minutes, if x-ray was coming to pick them up within the hour, or if they were going to have to have their Barium Enema & become NPO by 8 pm).

The more questions the patient had, the more fun I had at my job. I would use a variety of teaching tools, also. For instance, I kept a small chalk board at my medication cart for drawing pictures of the patients' body parts while I explained what was happening with their disease or procedure, have the patients do "return demonstrations", give the patient 'bedside assignments' like listing signs & symptoms of a heart attack)

With "difficult" patients like you :), I would track you down, smile, give you a hard time for "running off", but then wheel you out for a quick smoke or to the vending machine (if allowed). Of course, you can't smoke in a hospital any more, at least here in Texas.

JaW, tell me about another experience you've had in the hospital. (I'll use it in my new book - ha ha ha). Do you have any questions about the care you or your family member received or didn't receive?

You weren't suppose to smoke in that hospital either, that's why I was in the parking lot (in my van, with the IV pole beside it. lol) or across the street (envision it, me in my johnny, rolling around an IV pole, waving at passers by).

I couldn't get them to understand, I hurt less when I was out walking than I did laying around in bed. But it would have been nice to have a nurse treat me as an equal. Most of the doctors and nurses (not all) that I've encountered nearly freak when they find out I'm not a layman.

"Hostage Doc" had me NPO so insurance would pay for my stay! He actually told me that! Needless to say, I raided the employee frig. I didn't think payment purposes was a good enough reason for me to not eat.

I would think you'd keep the enema hush-hush so that they wouldn't hide.... lol

OH, here's one. It is the Gall Bladder Removal of 'o4. hehehe

I do very well with general anesthesia, pop right out of it, no nausea or anything. And I knew it was going to be done laproscopically, so I didn't take anybody with me. The OR nurses acted like I was nuts, so I gave them my home phone in case 'you guys screw up in there and kill me.' lol

When I came to in my room (totally missed the recovery room some how) I strolled down to the nurse's station and asked who wanted to escort me outside for a smoke. All of their jaws dropped, and finally a CNA offered to do it. I figured they would want to keep an eye on me until they were sure I was really fine.

They discharged me the next day, and I drove myself home. They couldn't believe that I was moving about that quickly or that I refused pain meds (I hate that foggy feeling).

Because of the kind of situation your mom had, the fascination I had with the "law", and my being a stickler for following the Hippocratic oath [different from hypocritic oath ;) ] of "in all things, do no harm", I decided to obtain a certification as a Legal Nurse Consultant. For the last 16 years, I've assisted attorneys in lawsuits involving medical malpractice, personal injury, toxic torts, breast implant cases, and product liability.

New laws in Texas, Florida, California & a variety of other states have, unfortunately, limited a patient or family's ability to sue. Because the side that was fighting for the physicians & big insurance companies was more vocal, and many doctors were leaving their practices due to huge (and I mean huge) payments for malpractice coverage, they managed to convince the voters to allow caps to be placed on the amount of monetary awards that could be received. They kind of left out the part where 'we the people' would then be limited on bringing a suit for legitimate cases.

Many cases are too expensive to work up or "try", and since the "caps", many potential clients with legitimate cases are being turned away every day. Med mal attorneys have had to diversify their practice or change the focus of their practice just to stay afloat (e.g, going to worker's comp or general liability claims). Who suffers most? --- people like your mom. And then I hear that the doctors' insurance companies & the court dockets are the only ones that benefited from the new laws!