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The oldest one in the class!!

Posted: Aug 24, 08 8:33am

I completely understand what it feels like to be the oldest person in the class. There were times when I was older than the professor. For me, it became a struggle with my ego, I would feel so embarrassed, like I was impeding on a world that I no longer was a part of.

What it came down to, for me, is what I wanted, what were my goals and why did I want this degree. I wanted to grow as an individual and put myself in a position where I could offer more to my community. I had been married and raised my four daughters. During my 20's, 30's, and 40's, that was my priority and my "job", to take care of them. I had to work fulltime as well, and school was not an option.

When I got to the point in life where I could concentrate on what I wanted to "be", how I wanted to represent myself to the world besides "mother and secretary",

I had to come to grips that in many ways, I will never "catch up" with those who accomplished their educational goals early in life, and to be honest, I envy them. I so admire the young professionals I encounter on a daily basis and wonder how they had so much focus at such a young age. I did not have that. So it comes back to the here and now and the reality that life is a series of choices, and I believe that we cannot have it all, at the same time.

My reality now is that at 52 years old I have just graduated with my bachelors in Human Services. I am starting a new job tomorrow, because of my degree, in a field that is interesting and meaningful. Ten years ago, when I was typing letters for my bosses, I never would have imagined I would be in the position of making decisions for other people with some authority and respect.

I am going to take a break for about six months and then I'll be applying to grad schools. I want my master's in counseling, and then get licensed...maybe...I will just take the next indicated step each time I feel ready. My master's at 54...would have been nice to have it at 34, but this is a very personal journey. And looking back with the "could've, should've, would've's" have never served me very well.

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73 Comments // 56 Members

Randy J Stucker

Posted: Aug 24, 08 8:39am

Congratulations Cheryl. Very inspiring story. I have been helped greatly by many of the experiences that others have chosen to share here on TBD. At 46, I am finally making plans to go back to school myself. It is a little scary, but exciting at the same time. Good luck with the job, and with furthering your education.

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Robyn

Posted: Aug 24, 08 8:59am

Cheryl--well done! And congrats on making new goals and achieving them and on making future plans! Enjoy the present, but keep an eye on the future.

I hear a lot of what you say. MOST times I was the oldest one in class (but I'm NOT the oldest TA!!! ; ) I think on a few occasions that inhibited the professors more than me--instead of being free to heavily dump their opinions on the class--there was a darn good chance SOMEone in the room remembered the same history he did and would (and often did) challenge him. : ) On the other hand, sometimes a prof would toss out a joke and look to me to be the one who could appreciate it. ; ) It made for a nice connection. But I do remember a defining moment of acceptance. I came home and excitedly told my family, "A guy student dropped a door on me! I'm not their mom!!!" It felt like reason to celebrate.

As for the "young professionals" out there? I have struggled with that a bit, too, BUT--you have already had your family--no biological clock to fight against. They will most likely burn out sooner, as we now have the wisdom to pace ourselves and take better care of ourselves--understanding limits and needs and knowing how to balance between the two. I once looked back, ruing the academic time that was lost. My daughter made a wonderful observation--"You couldn't be the artist you are now--back then." And she is right. I'm on the 2nd year of a Masters of Fine Arts (3 yrs. all together) and I like the work I am doing now. I have the advantage of being the age I am, yet being a peer to the current generation of artists. We must embrace who we are and where we are!

Best to you and give yourself a hearty pat on the back from me! : )

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Psychodoc

Posted: Aug 24, 08 9:13am

Started back to school at 49 - got my Certificate in Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counseling. While doing an internship for my MEd in Counseling Psychology the therapist took another job and they offered the job to me. I'm still numb - no degree or license and they're paying me the same AND paying for my 18 month internship!!! The other students in my class want to kill me. LOL LOL

There are probably only 4 or 5 students older than I am and only 10% of the professors are older. WHO CARES! If I didn't have the guts to start this I never would have been in the right place at the right time. Oh, the clinic that hired me is 200 yards from my private office where I teach meditation/relaxation and practice Hypnotherapy. It was meant to be!!!

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Robyn

Posted: Aug 24, 08 9:15am

Perfect, Psychodoc!

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CarolT

Posted: Aug 24, 08 11:19am

On August 26, I'm starting a four year program to complete the two years necessary for my second bachelor's degree. At the end of the four years, I'll be 64.

I don't know that I'll actually make it through the program or that if I do, it will mean more money. (I'm planning to retire at 67 or 68, so that doesn't even really matter.) I know for sure that I will be the oldest person in the classroom. My husband is very much less than thrilled that I'm doing this.

But . . .nothing ventured, nothing gained. Even if I don't finish, I will have learned something I don't know now, and isn't that the ultimate goal? It's said that we only regret the things we don't do.

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Roxanne MacLean

Posted: Aug 24, 08 3:30pm

your right

going back to school

dealing with your own feelings

ad disrespect from younger student

I know

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TRR2009

Posted: Aug 24, 08 3:36pm

Cheryl Ammons wrote:

I completely understand what it feels like to be the oldest person in the class. There were times when I was older than the professor. For me, it became a struggle with my ego, I would feel so embarrassed, like I was impeding on a world that I no longer was a part of. What it came down to, for me, is what I wanted, what were my goals and why did I want this degree. I wanted to grow as an individual and put myself in a position where I could offer more to my community. I had been married and raised my four daughters. During my 20's, 30's, and 40's, that was my priority and my "job", to take care of them. I had to work fulltime as well, and school was not an option. When I got to the point in life where I could concentrate on what I wanted to "be", how I wanted to represent myself to the world besides "mother and secretary", I had to come to grips that in many ways, I will never "catch up" with those who accomplished their educational goals early in life, and to be honest, I envy them. I so admire the young professionals I encounter on a daily basis and wonder how they had so much focus at such a young age. I did not have that. So it comes back to the here and now and the reality that life is a series of choices, and I believe that we cannot have it all, at the same time. My reality now is that at 52 years old I have just graduated with my bachelors in Human Services. I am starting a new job tomorrow, because of my degree, in a field that is interesting and meaningful. Ten years ago, when I was typing letters for my bosses, I never would have imagined I would be in the position of making decisions for other people with some authority and respect. I am going to take a break for about six months and then I'll be applying to grad schools. I want my master's in counseling, and then get licensed...maybe...I will just take the next indicated step each time I feel ready. My master's at 54...would have been nice to have it at 34, but this is a very personal journey. And looking back with the "could've, should've, would've's" have never served me very well.

Congratulations!!!! Being the oldest in class, yeah, I can relate. I have held that position for years. With age comes experience and that means so much in a classroom. We are there because we want to be. It has significant meaning for us. Because we have to make many sacrifices because of our other commitments and responsibilities...

I will have my masters next May. I am very proud of my accomplishments.

Starting a new job in your field is fantastic. It will feel so good to wake up and know each day you earned your degree and now have work that is meaningful. Think of the wonderful example you have set for your children. I am sure they are very proud of you.

Nontraditional students possess tremendous courage, determination, and tenacity. Along with an endless amount of strength and dedication. So bravo for you, embrace your degree, and I wish you the best with your new position. You earned it, now own it, and be so proud of your accomplishment!!!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

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Posted: Aug 24, 08 3:36pm

Quote

I completely understand what it feels like to be the oldest person in the class. There were times when I was older than the professor. For me, it became a struggle with my ego, I would feel so embarrassed, like I was impeding on a world that I no longer was a part of. What it came down to, for me, is what I wanted, what were my goals and why did I want this degree. I wanted to grow as an individual and put myself in a position where I could offer more to my community. I had been married and raised my four daughters. During my 20's, 30's, and 40's, that was my priority and my "job", to take care of them. I had to work fulltime as well, and school was not an option. When I got to the point in life where I could concentrate on what I wanted to "be", how I wanted to represent myself to the world besides "mother and secretary", I had to come to grips that in many ways, I will never "catch up" with those who accomplished their educational goals early in life, and to be honest, I envy them. I so admire the young professionals I encounter on a daily basis and wonder how they had so much focus at such a young age. I did not have that. So it comes back to the here and now and the reality that life is a series of choices, and I believe that we cannot have it all, at the same time. My reality now is that at 52 years old I have just graduated with my bachelors in Human Services. I am starting a new job tomorrow, because of my degree, in a field that is interesting and meaningful. Ten years ago, when I was typing letters for my bosses, I never would have imagined I would be in the position of making decisions for other people with some authority and respect. I am going to take a break for about six months and then I'll be applying to grad schools. I want my master's in counseling, and then get licensed...maybe...I will just take the next indicated step each time I feel ready. My master's at 54...would have been nice to have it at 34, but this is a very personal journey. And looking back with the "could've, should've, would've's" have never served me very well.

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